Let's play a game! It's the "What If" game! You know this game don't you? Haven't we all played it at least a million times? This game can be very tiring & mind boggling. Wanna play? Ready! Set! GOOOO!
What if...I told you that my marriage was a mess? That we are struggling to keep it together? What if I shared with you that my marriage got started as an affair? What if I told you that I've had an affair since then? Ew, that's a touchy subject! What if I told you that I've considered divorce? Would you judge? What if I said that my family sometimes fights and hollers & criticizes each other? How about if I admitted that at times I've wished that I wasn't a christian? Look out! Lightening! What if you found out that I've even plotted killing in my mind before? What if I confessed that I struggle with lust? What if I opened up to you and said that I got pregnant at 18, had my baby, then had an abortion 6 months later? Now hold on! Don't throw that stone just yet, I'm not finished! I bet your bucket may be getting heavy by now. What would you say if you knew that I learned about the damage from sexual abuse as a young child? Hot topic! What if I explained to you the pain of not being believed? What if I told you that as a child I was exposed to alcoholism and spousal abuse? What if you knew that I depended on alcohol & pills when I couldn't handle the weight of my mistakes & the pain that resulted? How would it settle with you if I told you that I've attempted suicide more than once? That I've lived with the demon of depression? That I think I'm not pretty, or that I'm fat? What if I told you that I feel like a failure much of the time as a person, mother, daughter, & wife? What if you knew that I frequently hate myself & have considered cutting as a way of release? How would you feel if you knew that I've been crippled by so much fear that I even feared eating or taking medications or supplements or leaving my house or driving or going into
Wal Mart? What if you found out that I even feared going to sleep? What do you think of me so far? Could this be your story? What if it's your Mom's story, or your Grandmother or Aunt, or even your sister? It could be your Dad's story, your brother or uncle, or you Grandfather, or worse still...your child's story!
What if I told you that amidst all my troubles, failures, fears, disappointments, pain, struggles, mistakes & abuse I still found God? That I still received forgiveness through the blood of Jesus Christ?! Well, I did & continue to each day! God has loved me since before I was even conceived & he never let me out of his sight. Can you believe that? See, God has been preparing me to do the work he predestined (pre-planned) for me to do so long, long ago. Ephesians 1:11-12 It's in Christ that we find out who we are & what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ & got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he's working out in everything & everyone. MSG and also, Psalm 139:16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. NIV
Are you now, or have you ever gone through some tough times in your life? What if I told you it's because God has a plan for your life that you may not be able to see now or understand? Jeremiah 29:11 I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out-plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. MSG I Peter 5:10 encourages us: And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you & make you strong, firm & steadfast. NIV
What if I told you he loves you more than his own life, enough to send His own Son to die for our sins? Would you believe it? Would you be ready to accept his call on your life, to submit & honor Him? Psalm 100:3 Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, & we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. I pray that you will answer his call even when life seems to be the worst anyone could ever imagine going through because it is people like you, who are real, that God wants to plant in a field of wildflowers so that your compassion & understanding can help even a lowly weed, with no purpose, to grow. Although a wildflower is not a weed, they do serve a purpose. Some can be eaten, others used for medicinal purposes & some are just lovely to behold. This is what the Bible says about a flower in Isaiah 40:6-8 "All men are like grass, & all their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers & the flowers fall, because the breath of the Lord blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers & the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever."
It's ok to be beautiful outwardly but a soft, peaceful inner beauty that is attained from faith during hard knocks & struggles is more pleasing to God! I Peter 3:3-4 for women-Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair & the wearing of gold jewelry & fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle & quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. Also, Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, & beauty(like the flower) is fleeting(soon fades); but a woman who fears God is to be praised. For men-a handsome or desirable man is one that can apply I Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, & treat them with respect as the weaker(without as many advantages) partner & as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. Also, I think Psalm 1:1-3 puts it handsomely-Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, & on his law he meditates day & night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season & whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers!NIV Who wouldn't want a man like that, right?! Although this is not a lesson on husbands & wives I felt it important to make this distinction of what is pleasing to God in both man & woman.
Did you know that the Dandelion that we kill off each year is full of nutrition? The Dandelion is not just a lowly weed nor is it known for its beauty & vibrant colors. It's fluffy,feathered petals have brought joy to many a child. Seeing the force of their breath spread the fuzzy wonder throughout the field brings them pleasure. Some of it may land right where it is & spread its seed there, while others float away to a new piece of land standing out amongst the wildflowers, & still others may tickle our noses, or plant themselves in our eyelashes or in our hair! Can you just see the image of God breathing life(the Holy Spirit) into our hearts when we believe in Him & the joy & pleasure he feels as he watches us grow where He has planted us!?
That's not all a Dandelion is good for! The leaves & stems are great for salads or can be dried for herbal use too! See, the Dandelion, in case you haven't noticed, is hard to kill! They will not give up and neither should we! Phillipians 3:12-14 says it best! "I have not yet reached my goal, & I am not perfect. but Christ has taken hold of me. so I keep on running & struggling to take hold of the prize. My friends, I don't feel that I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, & I struggle for what is ahead. I run toward the goal, so that I can win the prize of being called to heaven. This is the prize that God offers because of what Christ Jesus has done." Remember this childhood song? He's still working on me, to make me what I outta be. It took him just a week to make the moon & the stars, the sun & the earth & Jupiter & Mars. How loving & patient he must be! Cuz He's still working on me! He's still working on you! Don't give up yet!
Could you be a Dandelion? Could I? What if we were real? What if we shared our hardships with each other so that someone else might be saved? What if...
Remember, just because the flower is bright & pretty & smells good on the outside doesn't mean it's all that on the inside nor does it mean that it isn't & never discount a weed! I Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
Psalm 17:8 Keep me the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings...
With much love from a Dandelion!
Stephanie Goode
Friday, April 20, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
I had a dream!
Well, yesterday I finished putting away my things from my trip to Georgia, which was 3 weeks ago! Procrastinate? Never! I just don't like to pack or put my stuff up when I get back! Ha ha! I have been wanting to share with you a dream I had while in Georgia but for one reason or another I haven't gotten it done, but I'm glad I waited because there is post dream information that may amaze you. Well, it amazed me anyway! I shared my dream first with a friend who was indirectly involved. Granted, I shared it later than I had planned to but I'm glad I procrastinated because God's timing is so much better than mine. Do you agree? This friend, Merion, happens to be the Mother of the girl in my dream & one day last week I got on facebook & noticed that she had decided to totally abandoned her facebook because she was going through a hard time and just needed to set some boundaries. I understand that for sure! It wasn't until the next day that I felt pressed to share my dream with her because I could see that satan was trying to steal her joy & snuff out her light. Now, the post dream info had already been revealed to me at this point so I was able to give her the whole story. I was able to start the message with encouragement by letting her know how valued she is & how much she blesses others including me & how I can appreciate her struggles as I too am going through some struggles that also make me want to burrow for awhile till it goes away. Thankfully God is so patient with me & allows me time to figure things out & get over myself & whatever it is that holds me back from moving forward into the many blessings he has in store for me.
Ok, so here' s the dream. I dreamed I was going to prison & I remember thinking that it was so stupid that I was going to prison because what I did really wasn't a punishable offense. I packed all my stuff (believe me i pack for every possible situation); the guard then went through my stuff & set out just what I would need then I started going back through what was left & asking "well, what about this?" The guard replied, "yeah, you can take it but you won't need it." Me "ok, well then I'm gonna take all this cuz it's mine & it makes me feel safe & comfortable." Wesley, my husband, was with me & we were escorted to another place to wait on roll call. This is when his brother Steven showed up just to be with us. Thanks Steven! I know you would be there. I felt a little self conscious because if people saw me then they'd know what I did. I then began to realize that all the people there were people that I knew & that they had obviously done something too! That's when an angel by the name of Meredith showed up or should I say floated over. I do know Meredith in real life & she is much younger than me, could be my daughter. She said to me, "I feel like the Lord wants me to share this with you, but I wasn't sure if He wanted me to tell you to read the whole chapter or just the verse. I'm sure now that it's the verse. 2 Chronicles 30:7 is what God has told me to share with you." At this point I'm scrunching up my face like, HUH? "I don't know, I just really believe that God wants you to know this" she says. So I got my Bible out & started questioning, "did she really mean 2 Corinthians 30:7 or maybe 1 Corinthians or 1 Chronicles?" Meredith had already flitted away, her work was done, but she heard me & reappeared off to the side & said "No! 2 Chronicles 30:7!" Now you can imagine how crazy this must have sounded to me. Why would God want me to read something in 2 Chronicles? That's old testament & so random. If you've read any of my previous blogs you will know that I have said before how God uses some very odd things to get my attention. He probably has to in order to get through to me. Besides I kinda have a hankering for all that's odd! Anyway, when I awoke from my dream it was still so vivid in my mind so I got my Bible out & started searching all those places in the Bible cuz I still thought this had to be all mixed up. Do you know that out of all those books 2 Chronicles is the only one with a chapter 30 & verse 7? Yup! Crazy? Coincidence? I think not! When I read it I was already pretty sure what God was trying to say to me. It's such a weird passage, but I believe he is telling me not to be like my ancestors who were unfaithful & invoke his anger but instead to submit completely to him. Let's take a look at 2 Chronicles 30:7 Do not be like your fathers & brothers, who were unfaithful to the Lord, the God of their fathers, so that he made them an object of horror, as you see. Vs 8 says Do not be stiff-necked, as your fathers were; submit to the Lord. I laughed at this cuz my neck truly was stiff that morning. It goes on to say serve the Lord so that his fierce anger will turn away from you. If you return your brothers & children will be shown compassion from their captors...For the Lord your God is gracious & compassionate. He will not turn his face from you if you return to him. Ok! How clear is that? I don't think I've ever really read in Chronicles but I was wowed. I had to ask God to go ahead & clarify that for me as if I didn't understand. I just really didn't want to hear that. So, looking back into the dream I can see that submission in all things, even the hard ones, & the one's that scare me to submit to him is what he wants. Think about it, He, the guard, has set out for me all that I need & I am still wanting to hold on to those things that are holding me prisoner because even though they are no good for me they are comfortable & safe. He still allows me to take those things even tho I won't need them if I just trust & depend on Him. He gives me the free will to choose but I would imagine he let's out a big sigh each time I hold onto my possessions. Those possessions are not necessarily material things. They could be anger, guilt, shame, sin, memories, pain, fear, worry, etc. He hasn't given up on me yet see that's why he sent Meredith, my angel! In my life I am holding on to things that only cause me pain & confusion & sadness, yet they are so hard to let go of! Why? I am afraid! OF WHAT? My future, happiness, being well, my dreams actually coming true, freedom, love! What? That's crazy you say? You are so right! It is! I believe in the dream that Steven was like the Holy Spirit, a comforter, a peaceful & reassuring presence. You never know when you may be entertaining angels unaware! Maybe you don't believe in dreams, that's ok, it's your choice. I believe enough for us all. God has spoken to me many times in my dreams. It is the one place he can speak to me that I am less resistant & more open minded. He knows me so well.
I feel that at this time in my life I am up against a wall, stale mate. Imagine if I would have submitted, given it all up that morning. Would I still be in this place right now, in this prison? Let me just clue you in even more about how well God knows me. He knew it would take more than a dream & a verse. One of my devos for that day, March 18 2012, was titled "Listening Carefully". Psalm 119:162-163. The devo says, "so...would you be quiet & listen with your eyes on the pages of your Bible? Listen for His still, small voice to whisper to your heart through his word." ROTFL! The other devo for the day is titled "Will I bring myself up to this level?" 2 Corinthians 7:1 ...perfecting holiness in the fear of God. In summary, Am I claiming his promises? Do I realize that He owns me, my body His temple, or am I condoning some habit that couldn't withstand God's light on it? 1 Corinthians 6:19. Do I know that God instructs even the small details of my life, for me my thoughts. When God convicts do not confer with flesh & blood but be cleansed at once Galatians 1:16. Is the mind of my spirit in perfect agreement with the life of the Son of God in me or am I mentally rebellious & defiant? Philippians 2:5. It ends with "be serious in your commitment to God & gladly leave everything else alone." I mean really, how much more clear does it need to be? Evidently for me, crystal clear! I frustrate myself! So naturally last Tuesday I was still asking God questions about what is wrong with me, what do I need to do? I read my devos but they didn't really lead me anywhere. Didn't know where to look in my Bible so I got on facebook, nothing there this time. So, finally I grabbed my Bible & guess where it turned to? You got it, 2 Chronicles 1. I read it & basically what I heard was that Solomon asked God for wisdom & knowledge, not riches etc, & God granted it & then some. 2 Chronicles 1:7-12 The truth is, wisdom, knowledge & a splash of understanding is definitely what I need. Now I must put away all doubt, fear, & pride & ask for what I need & give up all that I don't need. Wouldn't you agree? Are you like me? Does anyone else do this? I am asking for your prayers that i will humble myself to God's will & truths about my life & surrender all that entangles me. I know that he has such a greater purpose for me, more than all this self inflicted suffering. Until he has created a pure heart in me I will not be able to see his purpose or execute it when it is revealed to me.
I want to tell you how blessed I was when Merion responded the very day that I had sent her the message because I knew she had already checked out of facebook so I prayed that if it was God's will then please let her somehow get my message. He answered ASAP! It blessed me to know how blessed she felt & that she is back on facebook! I enjoy her positive & encouraging posts!
If Jesus texted or facebooked I bet his message to me would look something like this...Jesus:TBH! Sigh! SMH! It's not who you knew, it's not what you did, it's how lived! Keep living for me! I am patiently waiting for you to break free from your prison & join me in freedom completely consecrated in me! Love Jesus!
PRISONER 2012
Stephanie Goode
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