As I sit here watching Dancing With the Stars I am wondering what God thinks of the ladies so scantily dressed and moving their bodies in seductive ways not only with someone who is not their husband, but also for all the world to see. What do you think? What does he think of me watching it? Does he approve of either thing? My heart, my mind and my soul all say this is not right.
The topic of women and their bodies is one that God has been convicting me of for over a year. I pridefully resisted for awhile. In other words, I was disobedient. I still wanted to show off my body. To be honest I didn't want to be controlled by anyone telling me how I can dress. I still wanted that attention even though that sort of lifestyle had already gotten me into trouble. I was looking for a fleshly way of fulfilling an inner void. Sin...it is fun and addicting and so empty! I did not want to hear that message because I was not ready to give up my sin and live what I considered to be the life of an old lady. Old...no, lady...yes!
I was taught better growing up about how a woman of God should clothe herself with modesty and a quite, gentle spirit. Like a lot of folks, I went my own way, the way of the world. It's so accepted and glorified! I have conformed to the ways of the world in more than just how I dress. How about suggestive music that diminishes the value of a woman, the value of true love, and speaks crudely of our bodies with foul language? Where sex is made into something freaky and wrong rather than a blessed communion ordained by God between a husband and wife. Cussing, it's ok right? NO! It is one thing I find myself doing when my heart is not right. Drinking excessively. Walking in ways that the Bible says I should no longer be walking. The world, satan, paints a lot of pretty pictures and unfortunately we buy into them and compromise our walk with Christ. What do I stand to gain by showing parts of my body that are meant only for my husband to see behind closed doors? Well, I gain the eyes of other men, rude remarks, whistles, indecent proposals and the list goes on! Our bodies were not meant to be put on display in any way.
Where is beauty found? In the unfading beauty of a quite, gentle spirit which is of great worth in God's sight. It's found in noble character, in fearing The Lord, in reverent living, in one who puts her hope in God. She is trustworthy, her husband has confidence in her. She is wise and gracious, she does not gossip. It is in a woman who does not slander, or who is not addicted to much wine, who loves her husband and children. Beautiful is the woman who is pure and self-controlled. Who practices doing what is good and shows integrity, seriousness and soundness in speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose her may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about her. A beautiful woman knows that charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears The Lord is to be praised. Last but not least the one we all don't like, it's found in a woman who like women of the past, are submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him master. Ouch! 1 Timothy2:9, Titus 2:3, 1 Peter 3:5, Proverbs 31. According to God these things please him, but according to the world it is found in Victoria's Secret (it's really no secret), it's found on stages where we present our bodies to be judged rather we are beautiful enough, on a stage where we are scantily dressed and being judged on whether our muscles are big enough or formed enough to win a place ( I have nothing against muscles on a woman nor am I judging, just question if it is pleasing to present our bodies in such a way).We even engage our young daughters in such things. It's no wonder women and young girls and teens struggle with self-image! We do not need the world to decide if we are beautiful enough! It's on the beaches! It's on the cat walk!
My question is, are these ways of the world or of God? I keep feeling very convicted and led in studying and speaking on such things, not because I want to be able to judge anyone but instead to keep myself and my sisters on the right path. The path that pleases God, but does not boast in beauty or physical strength, or sexual prowess, but instead is beautiful in her walk with Lord, in humility and grace, and strong in God's strength so that she can take care of her husband and children always encouraging and admonishing them in The Lord! This doesn't sound fair! I too have modeled, strutted my stuff and worn indecent attire. Maybe I have it all wrong! I have resisted and prayed and resisted and prayed. I ask God all the time, " are you sure? Am I hearing you right? This is not a popular view! It may make some people mad at me! I may be judged or slandered and for sure disagreed with! God if this is still what you want then don't let the fire inside me die! Give me your wisdom and your words! Give me peace and discretion!" Well obviously he hasn't let this die in me. In fact tonight as I was washing dishes I was once again talking to God about this and he whispered a verse to my soul. Here it is Philippians 3:12-16 as I write this I'm asking "Lord are you sure?" here goes...Not that I have already attained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained.
I was disobedient in the convictions of the Holy Spirit and I grieved him. In other words, I made him sad, caused him grief. I press on to accomplish what Christ has asked of me. I am still perfecting it each time God shows me another inappropriate thing. I know that he will show me clearly! I have even been faced with being obedient to my husbands request to not wear certain things. Don't even think this was easy for me! It so was not! In fact it was kinda painful! Why is humility and respect so hard sometimes? It's my will versus someone else's...some call this PRIDE! Yup one of my sins that I am maturing in. I want to be mature in my walk and be pleasing to God.
I am super aware of what I wear, if I'm showing cleavage, or if my dress is too short or if my shorts are to short, etc. Especially since I gave my body over to sin. I now realize what it does to a man to see a woman's body presented in a package that shows more than she should. Yes, we are responsible for tempting men. Yes, they are responsible for self control. We should not do anything that hinders a brother or sister. Do you think that what you wear or what you do with your body doesn't affect other women? It does! She may think if she can do that or wear that as a christian so can I or you may be a temptation to Her husband or maybe like in my case my boys! Believe me I have always been defensive about not just young girls but women who show their bodies in front of my boys! Sad thing is...I have done it! Thank God for forgiveness! It should really be enough when our boys are worried about what we are wearing. I remember one of my boys hating it if my bra strap slipped out! I feel very proud and honored that my boys love me enough to want me to cover my body. There friends do not need to see my body! They are young men with eyes and hormones. I have learned that they don't see our bodies as imperfectly as we do! Yes, I have felt much shame and embarrassment over my inconsiderate, disrespectful ways towards my husband and my children! Ladies, please think on this...your daughters are for sure beautiful and so are their precious little bodies so please consider what you are doing when you post pictures of them in bikinis and comment how beautiful they are because I can guarantee you that a lot of other people, men and boys alike, think so too! Don't put them at risk! Ladies,when you post pictures of your beautifully trimmed bodies in bikinis my husband sees them too! And yes he and I both think you are sexy, but now, with even a glimpse my husband or my boys have the image of your body in their minds. I do not blame him or them because this is how God made them! I'm asking you to pray and ask God what he would have you do with your body and your daughter's bodies that pleases him and brings ONLY HIM GLORY and not us. God knows you are beautiful because he created you and he wants to make us all so beautiful inwardly that no one would dare speak and "ugly" word against you!
I know this may all sound "old school", but if God's ways are "old school" then I'm attending class!
So as you can see from reading the characteristics of a beautiful woman I have not already obtained all this but I press on in obedience to Christ toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus!
Lord I pray that you would open the hearts and minds of all who read this today and that you would impress upon them your will for their lives! Amen
Imperfectly beautiful,
Stephanie Goode
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
What Is A Tear?
What Is A Tear?
The explosion of a heart
A remnant of emotion
A shard of a feeling
A silent prayer
A souls cry for help
A joyous rain from within
A cleansing of the mind
A painful release
A river of compassion
An unspoken love
A mountain of fear
A spring of hope
A love not forgotten
A pressure overflowing
An expression of new life
A gift from God
A tear.
Revelations 17:17
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
Stephanie Goode
The explosion of a heart
A remnant of emotion
A shard of a feeling
A silent prayer
A souls cry for help
A joyous rain from within
A cleansing of the mind
A painful release
A river of compassion
An unspoken love
A mountain of fear
A spring of hope
A love not forgotten
A pressure overflowing
An expression of new life
A gift from God
A tear.
Revelations 17:17
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
Stephanie Goode
Sunday, August 25, 2013
The Wildflowers Words: #amazed The Cinderella Job #yestoGod
The Wildflowers Words: #amazed The Cinderella Job #yestoGod: "The Cinderella Job" Written for ...
#amazed The Cinderella Job #yestoGod
"The Cinderella Job"
Written for OBS "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God"
Cinderella had been praying for God to send her a job that would glorify him. She felt very unworthy of God's help but in her heart she knew that God had great plans for her so she decided to be still and patiently, nervously wait. True to His word he led her to send a message to a friend whom she knew that was opening a business. Little did she know, that God was strategically putting the two friends back together for His purposes. Together these friends were able to minister to all kinds of people in many different ways. This friend was so gracious and showed her appreciation to Cinderella through kind words and deeds. Cinderella was blown away by her friend Fairy! She paid her top dollar and gave her what seemed to Cinderella a very important job. Unfortunately, the business closed and Cinderella was once again without work, but she wasn't worried because her God had delivered her last time and will do so again.
Cinderella, once again, began to pray. God led her through five interviews within a short period of time but all those doors closed. The same day, within a few hours of the last door being closed, Cinderella received a message. The message said, "give me a call". Now, the irony of this message is not only was it right after the last door closed, but also, it was from a friend at the gym, a place she's always wanted to work. Cinderella was getting her hair done when she laughed out loud! She jokingly said to Bridget, "maybe she wants to offer me a job!" Isn't God hilarious? Now, the story deepens.
Cinderella contacted her friend from the gym only to find out that she actually was offering her a job, but not a job that she ever wanted to do again. Childcare! #Saywhat? "Lord, are you kidding me here? Ok Lord." So, off she went to deliver her resume. Cinderella, had plenty of experience but the last time she taught children she left her job deeply depressed and suicidal and had vowed to never, ever work with children again. Her heart had grown cold, bitter, and shut off. So, she visited with the owner and said to him, "I am not trying to sell myself, just pray about it and give me a call." Four days later, he called. Inwardly Cinderella grimaced as he offered her the job but she obediently agreed to take the job...in childcare. Cinderella spent much of her time in prayer asking God for the strength to make it through each day. Little by little God began using those precious babies to soften, and open up Cinderella's heart again.
Cinderella not only performed her duties in childcare, but also, in the gym. She scrubbed toilets, took out the trash, washed the windows, made the mirrors shine, mopped the floors, wiped down all the machinery, knocked down cobwebs, swept out dust bunnies, vacuumed...you get the picture. Most of the time she was actually singing while she worked. She also took advantage of her cleaning time to talk with God. She loves Him very much! Her faith grew stronger and she began to ask God to use her. Each day, even when she just wanted to complain, she would ask God for whatever situation was best for her that day and to send someone that needed his love. God never failed her, he is her Prince!
One day while her back was bent cleaning the machines she was mulling her job over. Happy to be where she was but at times feeling so unappreciated. The job she was blessed with before the gym was a job where she felt important. She had lots of things to accomplish, she had been given a management role, was being paid $3.25 more than she was now; although, this job was never about the money, it was about obedience. In her previous job she was up front interacting with many people and now, she just watched from the window in the childcare room or while she was cleaning, wondering if one them might be the one that needs to hear that God loves them. Wondering why she was stuck in this tiny room instead in the midst of all the people; in the big room. This is when Cinderella fully understood her name and her purpose. Cinderella interacts some with others at the gym, but mostly with the children and their moms. This is where her true purpose, her ministry, was put into action. Oh the brokenness that entered her room! Her heart bled for them for she understood what it was like to be in similar situations or what it is like to be loved by God through tough times. God used Cinderella to listen, to offer Godly advice, to understand, to have compassion, to cry with, to laugh with, to give hugs and to pray for and with these beautiful moms!
Cinderella has a very tough and tiring job, but I believe she has been blessed more than anyone else there. Her story continues on even now as she works for the same gym but under new ownership.
When I had finished writing this story I stopped to read my devotions for the day and boy was I #amazed! That days devotion as well as the two before were so perfect! I started digging through the scriptures and this is where God led me- 1 Samuel 15:22-23 22. Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord? King Saul half did what God had asked him to do so he thought that he could make it up to Him with a sacrifice. In our day and time I would say that we do that by performing. 22b. To OBEY is better than sacrifice and to heed(follow, listen) is better than the fat of rams. 23. For REBELLION(not doing what God tells you) is like the SIN of DIVINATION(to fortell future events, super natural powers) and ARROGANCE(self-importance) like the EVIL of IDOLATRY(worship of something or someone other than God), because you have rejected the word of God(said NO to God) he has rejected you as King.
The sacrifices God does love are found in Psalm 51:17...a broken spirit, a broken(humble, shattered) and contrite(remorseful) heart. You can cross reference this with Psalm 21. I believe Job would be a good example here. Other scriptures to read are. Psalm 119:111-112 I love that it says 111. Your statutes are my HERITAGE FOREVER; 112. My heart is set on keeping your decrees TO THE VERY END! Love it! Also, Psalm 119:33-37 33. Teach me, O Lord, to follow your decrees; then I will KEEP THEM TO THE END. 34. Give me understanding, and I WILL KEEP YOUR LAW and OBEY IT WITH ALL MY HEART. I will end this with John 14:23-24 23. Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will OBEY MY TEACHING... 24. He who does not love me WILL NOT OBEY MY TEACHING.
#AMAZED WHEN I SAY #YESTOGOD,
Stephanie Goode(Cinderella)
Written for OBS "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God"
Cinderella had been praying for God to send her a job that would glorify him. She felt very unworthy of God's help but in her heart she knew that God had great plans for her so she decided to be still and patiently, nervously wait. True to His word he led her to send a message to a friend whom she knew that was opening a business. Little did she know, that God was strategically putting the two friends back together for His purposes. Together these friends were able to minister to all kinds of people in many different ways. This friend was so gracious and showed her appreciation to Cinderella through kind words and deeds. Cinderella was blown away by her friend Fairy! She paid her top dollar and gave her what seemed to Cinderella a very important job. Unfortunately, the business closed and Cinderella was once again without work, but she wasn't worried because her God had delivered her last time and will do so again.
Cinderella, once again, began to pray. God led her through five interviews within a short period of time but all those doors closed. The same day, within a few hours of the last door being closed, Cinderella received a message. The message said, "give me a call". Now, the irony of this message is not only was it right after the last door closed, but also, it was from a friend at the gym, a place she's always wanted to work. Cinderella was getting her hair done when she laughed out loud! She jokingly said to Bridget, "maybe she wants to offer me a job!" Isn't God hilarious? Now, the story deepens.
Cinderella contacted her friend from the gym only to find out that she actually was offering her a job, but not a job that she ever wanted to do again. Childcare! #Saywhat? "Lord, are you kidding me here? Ok Lord." So, off she went to deliver her resume. Cinderella, had plenty of experience but the last time she taught children she left her job deeply depressed and suicidal and had vowed to never, ever work with children again. Her heart had grown cold, bitter, and shut off. So, she visited with the owner and said to him, "I am not trying to sell myself, just pray about it and give me a call." Four days later, he called. Inwardly Cinderella grimaced as he offered her the job but she obediently agreed to take the job...in childcare. Cinderella spent much of her time in prayer asking God for the strength to make it through each day. Little by little God began using those precious babies to soften, and open up Cinderella's heart again.
Cinderella not only performed her duties in childcare, but also, in the gym. She scrubbed toilets, took out the trash, washed the windows, made the mirrors shine, mopped the floors, wiped down all the machinery, knocked down cobwebs, swept out dust bunnies, vacuumed...you get the picture. Most of the time she was actually singing while she worked. She also took advantage of her cleaning time to talk with God. She loves Him very much! Her faith grew stronger and she began to ask God to use her. Each day, even when she just wanted to complain, she would ask God for whatever situation was best for her that day and to send someone that needed his love. God never failed her, he is her Prince!
One day while her back was bent cleaning the machines she was mulling her job over. Happy to be where she was but at times feeling so unappreciated. The job she was blessed with before the gym was a job where she felt important. She had lots of things to accomplish, she had been given a management role, was being paid $3.25 more than she was now; although, this job was never about the money, it was about obedience. In her previous job she was up front interacting with many people and now, she just watched from the window in the childcare room or while she was cleaning, wondering if one them might be the one that needs to hear that God loves them. Wondering why she was stuck in this tiny room instead in the midst of all the people; in the big room. This is when Cinderella fully understood her name and her purpose. Cinderella interacts some with others at the gym, but mostly with the children and their moms. This is where her true purpose, her ministry, was put into action. Oh the brokenness that entered her room! Her heart bled for them for she understood what it was like to be in similar situations or what it is like to be loved by God through tough times. God used Cinderella to listen, to offer Godly advice, to understand, to have compassion, to cry with, to laugh with, to give hugs and to pray for and with these beautiful moms!
Cinderella has a very tough and tiring job, but I believe she has been blessed more than anyone else there. Her story continues on even now as she works for the same gym but under new ownership.
When I had finished writing this story I stopped to read my devotions for the day and boy was I #amazed! That days devotion as well as the two before were so perfect! I started digging through the scriptures and this is where God led me- 1 Samuel 15:22-23 22. Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord? King Saul half did what God had asked him to do so he thought that he could make it up to Him with a sacrifice. In our day and time I would say that we do that by performing. 22b. To OBEY is better than sacrifice and to heed(follow, listen) is better than the fat of rams. 23. For REBELLION(not doing what God tells you) is like the SIN of DIVINATION(to fortell future events, super natural powers) and ARROGANCE(self-importance) like the EVIL of IDOLATRY(worship of something or someone other than God), because you have rejected the word of God(said NO to God) he has rejected you as King.
The sacrifices God does love are found in Psalm 51:17...a broken spirit, a broken(humble, shattered) and contrite(remorseful) heart. You can cross reference this with Psalm 21. I believe Job would be a good example here. Other scriptures to read are. Psalm 119:111-112 I love that it says 111. Your statutes are my HERITAGE FOREVER; 112. My heart is set on keeping your decrees TO THE VERY END! Love it! Also, Psalm 119:33-37 33. Teach me, O Lord, to follow your decrees; then I will KEEP THEM TO THE END. 34. Give me understanding, and I WILL KEEP YOUR LAW and OBEY IT WITH ALL MY HEART. I will end this with John 14:23-24 23. Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will OBEY MY TEACHING... 24. He who does not love me WILL NOT OBEY MY TEACHING.
#AMAZED WHEN I SAY #YESTOGOD,
Stephanie Goode(Cinderella)
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
#Saywhat? Radical obedience and God in the midst of my storm!
Written for OBS "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God"
#Saywhat? You talking to me? BUT...
Ever been there? God put this post on my heart one day last week and I kept mulling it over, thinking ok, ok. Really? How can I do this when I don't even know what the topics are? Besides I haven't even read Chapters 2 & 3. God kept right on stirring my heart! I mean there are plenty other yes stories I could share. Seriously, I couldn't focus, couldn't even read my lessons. I anxiously awaited the list of topics on Sunday, I mean, I basically had this written in my head I just needed to see if it was gonna fit in. There they were and guess what... my story fit right in. Way to go God! I finally gave in and said yes, wrote my rough draft and then there was relief. Since then God has confirmed this decision over and over. God knows! I pray that my story blesses someone and maybe gives hope to a struggling christian! Press on!
Radical obedience-done out of fearful respect for God, love for God, fear of consequences if I don't. The battle was fierce! The consequences high! Painful to say the least!
Obeying was like an exorcism! In fact, it was! I seriously fought so hard that I literally felt as if I was being torn apart from the inside out! There were times I'd wished that someone would lay hands on me and exercise the demons out! No one did. Instead, with God's help I fought them. I was fighting a spiritual battle of truth, peace, obedience and forgiveness and a fleshly battle of sin, desire, hurt, and lies. When you are called to obey and you are torn, the devil enticing hard on one side and Jesus gently calling you on the other it just ain't easy! I'm here to tell ya! Sin is fun! No doubt!
I was willing to walk away from everything, a marriage of 15 years, my children and take a chance of forgiveness just to have a momentary break. If I would just obey I could have eternal peace! Sounds like an easy choice, right? When God told me to stay in my marriage that I'd said I was through with, to leave the affair that I thought was the answer to my problems, I can tell you that that was the beginning of hell on earth! Don't deceive yourself into thinking that Satan is gonna let go that easy! Uh-uh, he's not! I was already disappointed in God, mad at God because I felt that he had not answered my prayers when I had called out to him to change these unhealthy feelings that I was starting have for this other person. I blamed God! Truth? I was disobedient and finally said to God, "Fine! Just give him to me!" Guess what! He did! Be careful what you ask for! God allowed Satan to dance with me. OH MY! The price we have all paid! I tested God often during this time, I laughed at God. I am disgusted at my gall even now. Can I just suggest to you not to do that?! Here's the thing...
GOD NEVER GAVE UP ON ME! Satan seriously wanted my LIFE! In death because if he could silence me, I would no longer be that Christian woman I once was who stood up for Christ, who obeyed, who trusted!
Many times I played with suicide and every time God said, "NO!" One time I very audibly heard God say, "NO! I have plans for you, just hold on!" I would like to say that was the last time I tried anything, but it wasn't! Y'all the pain, the confusion, the guilt and shame was way to much for me to bear! I tear up as I write this because I am grateful and amazed by his love! One time I wondered, "how many pills do I have to take? Why is this not working?" I was angry!
I believe God has given me so many messages, so many gifts to share, but they are too many for one blog post! What I can say is this...I have had a ton of #saywhats in the last 3 years and each time I have obeyed God has brought me a step closer to him. Today as I am becoming more and more myself again, released from the bondage of sin, guilt and shame, I am tearful...overwhelmed by God's grace!
My marriage is still intact and better than it was before much to Satan's chagrin. You lose Satan! My children have been hurt but are healing. It is my hope and my prayer that they see my fight, my strength in Christ alone, my faith journey, instead of my sinful choices. I hope that they, as well as others, can see Jesus in me! If you are in a marriage that is struggling and so very hard right now, persevere, dig into God's word and see his truth, fall on your face asking for revelation. Get to know Jesus, be obedient no matter what! Believe that each time you obey, each time you draw close to him, he draws close to you, James 4:8. He will bless you! Claw your eyes open sisters and brothers, run, scream, cry, tear your clothes(figuratively or for real if you must! I understand that feeling)! Whatever it takes to do what is right! HE WILL SEE YOU THROUGH! If your struggle is suicide or depression, stop listening to Satan's lies! Maybe it's anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, etc, do away with it! Give it back, it doesn't belong to you! I have learned that if I would just turn it to God, fall upon His grace, be radically obedient, those things do lift and change! I'm still here because God wants me to share this with you!
Some love notes God shared with me:
My Princess daughter,
My grace is sufficient, I am all you need
Nothing can separate you from my love
Be still, I will fight for you
I sing over you, I will comfort you under my feathers, I will protect you
I delight in you! I treasure your tears. They will not be wasted, joy comes in the morning
I will be your strength and shield, I go before you
I have many plans for you
I want to prosper and bless you, lift you up
I will NEVER harm you!
I am jealous for you, I will fight your enemies.
I will take down those who come up against you!
All you need to do is trust in me and say YES!
Whatever I say do, do it!
Receive me! I am your comfort! Your loving Father!
I will never leave you, nor will I forsake you!
I forgive you! You are PURE, WHITE AS SNOW!
My eye is on the sparrow, how much more is it on you!
Let me be your vision!
Come to me, come to me, come to me!
Have you ever had a father, a lover or a friend such as this? You can! Call out to Jesus! Where ever you are, just as you are! Believe in Him, confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord. Repent, turn from your sinful, worldly ways and finally, #radically obey and follow Jesus in baptism in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Buried in his death, raised to walk in newness of life! Praise Jesus! Clothe yourself with Christ and become a fragrant offering to God!
Jeremiah 29:11-13 When you seek God with your whole heart you WILL find him! I did!
He calms my storms!
Stephanie Goode
#Saywhat? You talking to me? BUT...
Ever been there? God put this post on my heart one day last week and I kept mulling it over, thinking ok, ok. Really? How can I do this when I don't even know what the topics are? Besides I haven't even read Chapters 2 & 3. God kept right on stirring my heart! I mean there are plenty other yes stories I could share. Seriously, I couldn't focus, couldn't even read my lessons. I anxiously awaited the list of topics on Sunday, I mean, I basically had this written in my head I just needed to see if it was gonna fit in. There they were and guess what... my story fit right in. Way to go God! I finally gave in and said yes, wrote my rough draft and then there was relief. Since then God has confirmed this decision over and over. God knows! I pray that my story blesses someone and maybe gives hope to a struggling christian! Press on!
Radical obedience-done out of fearful respect for God, love for God, fear of consequences if I don't. The battle was fierce! The consequences high! Painful to say the least!
Obeying was like an exorcism! In fact, it was! I seriously fought so hard that I literally felt as if I was being torn apart from the inside out! There were times I'd wished that someone would lay hands on me and exercise the demons out! No one did. Instead, with God's help I fought them. I was fighting a spiritual battle of truth, peace, obedience and forgiveness and a fleshly battle of sin, desire, hurt, and lies. When you are called to obey and you are torn, the devil enticing hard on one side and Jesus gently calling you on the other it just ain't easy! I'm here to tell ya! Sin is fun! No doubt!
I was willing to walk away from everything, a marriage of 15 years, my children and take a chance of forgiveness just to have a momentary break. If I would just obey I could have eternal peace! Sounds like an easy choice, right? When God told me to stay in my marriage that I'd said I was through with, to leave the affair that I thought was the answer to my problems, I can tell you that that was the beginning of hell on earth! Don't deceive yourself into thinking that Satan is gonna let go that easy! Uh-uh, he's not! I was already disappointed in God, mad at God because I felt that he had not answered my prayers when I had called out to him to change these unhealthy feelings that I was starting have for this other person. I blamed God! Truth? I was disobedient and finally said to God, "Fine! Just give him to me!" Guess what! He did! Be careful what you ask for! God allowed Satan to dance with me. OH MY! The price we have all paid! I tested God often during this time, I laughed at God. I am disgusted at my gall even now. Can I just suggest to you not to do that?! Here's the thing...
GOD NEVER GAVE UP ON ME! Satan seriously wanted my LIFE! In death because if he could silence me, I would no longer be that Christian woman I once was who stood up for Christ, who obeyed, who trusted!
Many times I played with suicide and every time God said, "NO!" One time I very audibly heard God say, "NO! I have plans for you, just hold on!" I would like to say that was the last time I tried anything, but it wasn't! Y'all the pain, the confusion, the guilt and shame was way to much for me to bear! I tear up as I write this because I am grateful and amazed by his love! One time I wondered, "how many pills do I have to take? Why is this not working?" I was angry!
I believe God has given me so many messages, so many gifts to share, but they are too many for one blog post! What I can say is this...I have had a ton of #saywhats in the last 3 years and each time I have obeyed God has brought me a step closer to him. Today as I am becoming more and more myself again, released from the bondage of sin, guilt and shame, I am tearful...overwhelmed by God's grace!
My marriage is still intact and better than it was before much to Satan's chagrin. You lose Satan! My children have been hurt but are healing. It is my hope and my prayer that they see my fight, my strength in Christ alone, my faith journey, instead of my sinful choices. I hope that they, as well as others, can see Jesus in me! If you are in a marriage that is struggling and so very hard right now, persevere, dig into God's word and see his truth, fall on your face asking for revelation. Get to know Jesus, be obedient no matter what! Believe that each time you obey, each time you draw close to him, he draws close to you, James 4:8. He will bless you! Claw your eyes open sisters and brothers, run, scream, cry, tear your clothes(figuratively or for real if you must! I understand that feeling)! Whatever it takes to do what is right! HE WILL SEE YOU THROUGH! If your struggle is suicide or depression, stop listening to Satan's lies! Maybe it's anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, etc, do away with it! Give it back, it doesn't belong to you! I have learned that if I would just turn it to God, fall upon His grace, be radically obedient, those things do lift and change! I'm still here because God wants me to share this with you!
Some love notes God shared with me:
My Princess daughter,
My grace is sufficient, I am all you need
Nothing can separate you from my love
Be still, I will fight for you
I sing over you, I will comfort you under my feathers, I will protect you
I delight in you! I treasure your tears. They will not be wasted, joy comes in the morning
I will be your strength and shield, I go before you
I have many plans for you
I want to prosper and bless you, lift you up
I will NEVER harm you!
I am jealous for you, I will fight your enemies.
I will take down those who come up against you!
All you need to do is trust in me and say YES!
Whatever I say do, do it!
Receive me! I am your comfort! Your loving Father!
I will never leave you, nor will I forsake you!
I forgive you! You are PURE, WHITE AS SNOW!
My eye is on the sparrow, how much more is it on you!
Let me be your vision!
Come to me, come to me, come to me!
Have you ever had a father, a lover or a friend such as this? You can! Call out to Jesus! Where ever you are, just as you are! Believe in Him, confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord. Repent, turn from your sinful, worldly ways and finally, #radically obey and follow Jesus in baptism in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Buried in his death, raised to walk in newness of life! Praise Jesus! Clothe yourself with Christ and become a fragrant offering to God!
Jeremiah 29:11-13 When you seek God with your whole heart you WILL find him! I did!
He calms my storms!
Stephanie Goode
Thursday, August 8, 2013
The Wildflowers Words: How do I love thee? Deuteronomy 6:5
The Wildflowers Words: How do I love thee? Deuteronomy 6:5 with all my heart
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