It's 4:30 am & I can't sleep! I have been tossing & turning all night with a kleenex stuck up one side of my nose because I'm so stopped up, head under the covers because the cold air from the fan makes it worse & then of course I have to go to the restroom from all the water I've been drinking during the night! Aaaaahhhhh!
On my way back to bed something happened! I don't know about you but I'm pretty used to finding my way in the middle of the night because it's the same path. I have little signs & markers to look & feel for as I slowly manuever my way, like keeping my hand by the side of my left thigh so I don't have an eternal bruise from running into the corner of the bed or the red glow of the little light on the phone. There are even shades of darkness that I recognize! This morning as I was being guided by the familiar landmarks something changed! The red glow on the phone disappeared from my line of vision & I sorta stopped & stumbled but very quickly realized that meant that my husband must be sitting on the side of the bed so I, with renewed confidence, I trudged on!
Immediately a thought came to mind, that's how it should be in our walk with Christ. We should always continue to move forward in life with our eyes set on the light, Jesus! Keeping our focus as we walk, on the landmarks that God has provided & noticing when something blocks our view. When our view is blocked it should cause us to say "Whoa, what was that?" and we should immediately began looking for that red light again!
I had been struggling with a conversation I had had the night before just praying that my words were taken in the manner they were meant. I had been asking God for confirmation & can I just say that sometimes it takes me awhile to accept the answer God has already provided so he has to be a little more dramatic with me! I feel that God was saying to me, "Don't let your own doubts & insecurities cause you to stumble, turn your eyes upon me, look me in the face & the things of this earth will grow strangely dim in the light of My glory & grace." Yes, that is from the song Turn Your Eyes upon Jesus, but it's the song He put on my heart! Here's the words to the first stanza; O soul, are you weary and troubled? No light in the darkness you see? There's light for a look at the Savior, And life more abundant & free! What? Yeah, God did that! Isn't he amazing! Right now I am totally wowed & thanking Him for His confirmation! I honestly did not know the words to the first stanza, just the chorus! There's just not anything more I can say friends except Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus!
1 Chronicles 28:9-10
And you, my son Solomon(my daughter Stephanie), acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with whole-hearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever. Consider now, for the Lord has chosen you to build a temple as a sanctuary. Be strong and do the work.
How confirming is that? I've never read that before today! Thank you Jesus! Maybe I can sleep now!
This little light of mine!
Stephanie Goode
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Sunday, May 27, 2012
What are you standing for?
Something is on my mind! Imagine that, right? Well, I've been thinking & I have some very important questions to ask. I write this with great conviction & assuredness that I am ready to stand for the sake of Christ! Here goes!
Why is it that we, by we I mean Christians, seem to justify sinful actions of those who have money, popularity, or perhaps a position of influence & yet judge a struggling christian for their failures and/or mistakes? See, the way I see it, we as Christians have a tendency to turn a blind eye, or say "oh, that's just the way ole so & so is", we make excuses, justify & continue to cavort with them, but when a fellow christian stumbles & makes a mistake or chooses to worship God in a different way or place or doesn't live up to standards that we have created ,not necessarily God's standards; we tend to judge, criticize, shun & turn our backs on them. Whatever happen to forgiveness & encouragement of a brother/sister & standing against what is evil or wrong? 1 John 5:17 All wrongdoing is sin... The Bible says in Hebrews 10:24 Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds; not condemn one another to hell, right? What ever happened to living out the example of the parable of the shepherd leaving the 99 sheep to bring the one lost sheep back? More often than not instead of searching for each other & bringing one another back into a right standing with God we leave each other to feel lost & abandoned to the wolves. I think it's easy for us to practice such backwards living because it makes us feel safe. Safe? Yes, if we ride the fence, in the name of Jesus of course, it makes us feel better about ourselves when we sin because we aren't really staking a huge claim on values & morals; we don't look like a freak, it gives us a reason to not commit 100% one way or the other, we can appear to be so accepting of everyone & everything because that way everybody loves us. God does say for us to love everybody right? Especially when it benefits us! Truth? See we can hide behind those living a worldly life by saying "Well, I'm just trying to help them or God didn't turn his back on sinners." I've been guilty of it! True, he didn't turn his back, but he also didn't live like them either because he was truly about his Father's business. Are you claiming to be a christian & yet flying under the radar by using excuses that make your actions seem worthy? It's tantalizing to dip our toes in the sparkling waters of lust, fantasy, wealth, popularity, acceptance, etc. Before you know it you can find yourself waist deep & you have a choice to make. It's always about making choices. Mistakes are clearly choices! We don't accidentally hang with those who can lead us into the fun we think we're missing out on as a christian. A mistake is when we unknowingly spell a word wrong. Come on! So, do you recognize that you are about to get in over your head & turn to Jesus or do you choose to wade in further? I've been in this predicament myself. The last time I found myself panicking in the waves that threatened to wash over me I chose to go in deeper! Bad move! I nearly drowned!
We tend to lower our standards because first of all sin is fun! I like it too! What I don't like is the consequence of sin! We've lowered our standards because we certainly don't want to hurt or offend the feelings of those living a worldly life but we will stomp all over a believer in a heartbeat! We may even label them as fake because they messed up or appear to be out of the will of God because they don't worship as we think they should! The Bible says that we should confront our brother & gently bring them back, love will cover a multitude of sin! Galations 6:1 instructs; Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. I believe that this world is so hungry for love & acceptance that we will do ANYTHING to get it when all we have to do is turn to God! We have set the standard of love according to this world & its pleasures rather than according to God. 1 John 2:15-17 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world-the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes & the boasting of what he has & does-comes not from the Father but from the world. The world & its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. I know all these things to be true because I have done them! I have traveled aboard the SSS-Satans Sinking Ship across the waters of the SSS-Satans Sea of Sin! Hey, he made it all look so good & guess what! I made a mockery of being a Christian! I personally made my claim as a Christian look fake. Are you being a stumbling block to someone who's faith is not mature? Are you the iceberg in someone's ocean who does not yet know Christ? Are you causing a weak Christian to doubt & stumble? I have & it pains me greatly to know that my sins have pierced His side. Standing back up after this is not easy but when God calls you out you have a choice! I choose to stand!
We take for granted Jesus giving his life for our sins on the cross! I took it for granted! The nails were driven into his hands & feet for my choice to have an affair, your choice to leave your marriage because it's not fun anymore, the choice to have premarital sex, to reject Jesus, to lie, to steal, to murder, to defile your body, to covet, to put other gods before Him, & the list goes on. God knows that the desire of every man's/woman's heart is to be loved with an unfailing love~Proverbs 19:22 What a man/woman desires is unfailing love...& that is exactly the kind of love he offers!
I am writing this not only because it has happened to me but also because I see it all around me. The more people I meet & the more time I spend listening to their stories the more I hear this same scenario over & over! It truly saddens me! I am learning too that we have to be so careful to not be led astray by satan's tools because he recognizes our hunger for love & acceptance & our need to fill the voids within us & will tempt us with worldly pleasure in our weakness. We are here to bring glory to God & to lead others to Him, not to be happy & have the best time ever doing whatever we please nor are we here to judge others of their imperfections! Jesus himself did not come into this world to judge but to save it! God will do the judging! So let your love be evident so that others will know who you belong to!
People it is time to stand up! Stand up against all wrong! What is wrong? Anything that is not of God! For example, why do we shrink back from standing against a womanizer who takes advantage of women in order to satisfy his own sick desires without any remorse of wrong doing or those who molest little children, or swindlers, drunkards, homosexuality, promiscuity, etc? The reason we don't is because we pick & choose who we hold accountable based upon their name, money, status, influence & whether or not standing against them would make us look like the bad guy! We are afraid! I'm not saying don't love them like Jesus does, but to make a stand for what is right. Believe me I've tasted from this fruit & considered basking in the garden of self fulfillment. I personally have considered not standing against such things because standing would let others know for sure about my mistakes & bring ridicule upon myself! I might lose my "friends", be ridiculed! I no longer care! I am standing! Let me ask you, is living that sort of lifestyle fulfilling your every need? It didn't satisfy my needs, only left me more empty. It never will fill you because Jesus is the only one who can fill our every need! Is your life leading others to Christ? I'm not saying you have to be perfect, that's not gonna happen here on this earth, but to strive to live a more Christ like life being more forgiving & accepting of your fellow brothers/sisters & less judgemental & resentful! Be more accepting of imperfect Christians who are striving to live right & yet still hold each other accountable so that sin does not take dominion over them! Ask yourself, "Why is it ok with me to hurt God's children? Why is it ok with me to turn a blind eye to those we know that are living of the world? Have I done my job as a Christian to show the lost the love of God & the error of their way without conforming to the world myself? James 4:4-6 You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the Spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. James 4:11-12 Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law & judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgement on it. There is only one Lawgiver & judge, the one who is able to save & destroy. But you-who are you to judge your neighbor?
I am charging all Christians to stand against all wrong & side up with Jesus 100%! Get off the fence! He didn't call us to be luke warm! He would rather you be either hot or cold! Revelation 3:15-21 Why are you on the fence? Are you afraid of being judged or held to a higher standard? Are you afraid that you might not be liked? Are you worried that you will look like a hypocrite? Let's fire it up & let our lights shine as a city on a hill! Stop making evil look good! God didn't call us to be comfortable but instead to stand out! Be prepared to stumble, to fall, but also to be caught by the biggest, strongest, softest & most loving arms ever! The arms of Jesus!
I'm sorry if I have offended with my rant, but I feel very strongly about this! I ask forgiveness for the times when I have been satans tool & stood on the fence of judgement, excuses, & fear of standing. When satan uses us to hurt each other he is in his heaven! He is so smooth & the one's he uses are too! So convincing! Just a little won't hurt! Just one time, no one will know! Just deny & delete right? One drink, one smoke, one time, a little lie, it's fun, it feels good doesn't it? If it feels good it can't be wrong?! Have you ever believed these lies? If you have I would imagine that when you finally get your head above water you will believe lies like these too: you're not beautiful now, you're not worth it, just kill yourself you'll be at peace then, you're fat, no one will believe you now, God doesn't love you anymore, you can't be forgiven, you mind as well give up, you're not good enough! None of these are of God! You are beautiful, you are handsome, you are worth it, I will give you peace yet while you live, your body is perfect to me, I believe you, I will always love you, I forgive you, don't give up, you are good enough...these are the truths you will hear from God!
Christians, fall at the feet of Jesus so that you can stand in His strength! Let Him show you the way in which you should go! The words you should say, how to forgive, when to encourage, how to love unconditionally like He does, & how to discern good from evil & when to stand! Close your mouth, open your heart, extend your arms & hold God's children close in His love! Love all men/women with the love of God but do not live with them in sin! Be an example of righteous living(being right with God).
Disclaimer: I am not in any way claiming to be without sin! I have made my share of "mistakes", have made "bad choices". I have hurt others too by my choices, my judgements, my choice to walk away from God & live in sin & for that I am truly sorry! It is by God's grace alone that I have been forgiven & am being restored daily! I am thankful that I serve a God of second, third & fourth chances! His love is new every morning, great is His faithfulness! The Lord is my portion; therefore, I will hope in Him!
Judged & Redeemed,
Stephanie Goode
Why is it that we, by we I mean Christians, seem to justify sinful actions of those who have money, popularity, or perhaps a position of influence & yet judge a struggling christian for their failures and/or mistakes? See, the way I see it, we as Christians have a tendency to turn a blind eye, or say "oh, that's just the way ole so & so is", we make excuses, justify & continue to cavort with them, but when a fellow christian stumbles & makes a mistake or chooses to worship God in a different way or place or doesn't live up to standards that we have created ,not necessarily God's standards; we tend to judge, criticize, shun & turn our backs on them. Whatever happen to forgiveness & encouragement of a brother/sister & standing against what is evil or wrong? 1 John 5:17 All wrongdoing is sin... The Bible says in Hebrews 10:24 Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds; not condemn one another to hell, right? What ever happened to living out the example of the parable of the shepherd leaving the 99 sheep to bring the one lost sheep back? More often than not instead of searching for each other & bringing one another back into a right standing with God we leave each other to feel lost & abandoned to the wolves. I think it's easy for us to practice such backwards living because it makes us feel safe. Safe? Yes, if we ride the fence, in the name of Jesus of course, it makes us feel better about ourselves when we sin because we aren't really staking a huge claim on values & morals; we don't look like a freak, it gives us a reason to not commit 100% one way or the other, we can appear to be so accepting of everyone & everything because that way everybody loves us. God does say for us to love everybody right? Especially when it benefits us! Truth? See we can hide behind those living a worldly life by saying "Well, I'm just trying to help them or God didn't turn his back on sinners." I've been guilty of it! True, he didn't turn his back, but he also didn't live like them either because he was truly about his Father's business. Are you claiming to be a christian & yet flying under the radar by using excuses that make your actions seem worthy? It's tantalizing to dip our toes in the sparkling waters of lust, fantasy, wealth, popularity, acceptance, etc. Before you know it you can find yourself waist deep & you have a choice to make. It's always about making choices. Mistakes are clearly choices! We don't accidentally hang with those who can lead us into the fun we think we're missing out on as a christian. A mistake is when we unknowingly spell a word wrong. Come on! So, do you recognize that you are about to get in over your head & turn to Jesus or do you choose to wade in further? I've been in this predicament myself. The last time I found myself panicking in the waves that threatened to wash over me I chose to go in deeper! Bad move! I nearly drowned!
We tend to lower our standards because first of all sin is fun! I like it too! What I don't like is the consequence of sin! We've lowered our standards because we certainly don't want to hurt or offend the feelings of those living a worldly life but we will stomp all over a believer in a heartbeat! We may even label them as fake because they messed up or appear to be out of the will of God because they don't worship as we think they should! The Bible says that we should confront our brother & gently bring them back, love will cover a multitude of sin! Galations 6:1 instructs; Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. I believe that this world is so hungry for love & acceptance that we will do ANYTHING to get it when all we have to do is turn to God! We have set the standard of love according to this world & its pleasures rather than according to God. 1 John 2:15-17 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world-the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes & the boasting of what he has & does-comes not from the Father but from the world. The world & its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. I know all these things to be true because I have done them! I have traveled aboard the SSS-Satans Sinking Ship across the waters of the SSS-Satans Sea of Sin! Hey, he made it all look so good & guess what! I made a mockery of being a Christian! I personally made my claim as a Christian look fake. Are you being a stumbling block to someone who's faith is not mature? Are you the iceberg in someone's ocean who does not yet know Christ? Are you causing a weak Christian to doubt & stumble? I have & it pains me greatly to know that my sins have pierced His side. Standing back up after this is not easy but when God calls you out you have a choice! I choose to stand!
We take for granted Jesus giving his life for our sins on the cross! I took it for granted! The nails were driven into his hands & feet for my choice to have an affair, your choice to leave your marriage because it's not fun anymore, the choice to have premarital sex, to reject Jesus, to lie, to steal, to murder, to defile your body, to covet, to put other gods before Him, & the list goes on. God knows that the desire of every man's/woman's heart is to be loved with an unfailing love~Proverbs 19:22 What a man/woman desires is unfailing love...& that is exactly the kind of love he offers!
I am writing this not only because it has happened to me but also because I see it all around me. The more people I meet & the more time I spend listening to their stories the more I hear this same scenario over & over! It truly saddens me! I am learning too that we have to be so careful to not be led astray by satan's tools because he recognizes our hunger for love & acceptance & our need to fill the voids within us & will tempt us with worldly pleasure in our weakness. We are here to bring glory to God & to lead others to Him, not to be happy & have the best time ever doing whatever we please nor are we here to judge others of their imperfections! Jesus himself did not come into this world to judge but to save it! God will do the judging! So let your love be evident so that others will know who you belong to!
I am charging all Christians to stand against all wrong & side up with Jesus 100%! Get off the fence! He didn't call us to be luke warm! He would rather you be either hot or cold! Revelation 3:15-21 Why are you on the fence? Are you afraid of being judged or held to a higher standard? Are you afraid that you might not be liked? Are you worried that you will look like a hypocrite? Let's fire it up & let our lights shine as a city on a hill! Stop making evil look good! God didn't call us to be comfortable but instead to stand out! Be prepared to stumble, to fall, but also to be caught by the biggest, strongest, softest & most loving arms ever! The arms of Jesus!
I'm sorry if I have offended with my rant, but I feel very strongly about this! I ask forgiveness for the times when I have been satans tool & stood on the fence of judgement, excuses, & fear of standing. When satan uses us to hurt each other he is in his heaven! He is so smooth & the one's he uses are too! So convincing! Just a little won't hurt! Just one time, no one will know! Just deny & delete right? One drink, one smoke, one time, a little lie, it's fun, it feels good doesn't it? If it feels good it can't be wrong?! Have you ever believed these lies? If you have I would imagine that when you finally get your head above water you will believe lies like these too: you're not beautiful now, you're not worth it, just kill yourself you'll be at peace then, you're fat, no one will believe you now, God doesn't love you anymore, you can't be forgiven, you mind as well give up, you're not good enough! None of these are of God! You are beautiful, you are handsome, you are worth it, I will give you peace yet while you live, your body is perfect to me, I believe you, I will always love you, I forgive you, don't give up, you are good enough...these are the truths you will hear from God!
Christians, fall at the feet of Jesus so that you can stand in His strength! Let Him show you the way in which you should go! The words you should say, how to forgive, when to encourage, how to love unconditionally like He does, & how to discern good from evil & when to stand! Close your mouth, open your heart, extend your arms & hold God's children close in His love! Love all men/women with the love of God but do not live with them in sin! Be an example of righteous living(being right with God).
Disclaimer: I am not in any way claiming to be without sin! I have made my share of "mistakes", have made "bad choices". I have hurt others too by my choices, my judgements, my choice to walk away from God & live in sin & for that I am truly sorry! It is by God's grace alone that I have been forgiven & am being restored daily! I am thankful that I serve a God of second, third & fourth chances! His love is new every morning, great is His faithfulness! The Lord is my portion; therefore, I will hope in Him!
Judged & Redeemed,
Stephanie Goode
Friday, May 18, 2012
How Great Is Our God!
I want you to know that satan does not want me to tell you the things I'm about to share. He has used 2 people from my past to try to hurt me & cause me to doubt & lose my confidence in God, 3 times all in this last week. His last attempt was while I was well...now! He's a loser! But today, I am giving God the glory! That's why we started off with praising God through song so that we could prepare our hearts & minds to receive God's blessings & also to put satan under our feet where he belongs.
Do you know why I can tell you how Great our God is? Because he has brought me from the depths of darkness & into the illuminating light of his grace! I don't feel that it is necessary today to elaborate on my mistakes or bad choices but instead I feel led to share with you Ephesians 3:16-21 I pray that out of his glorious riches he[being God] may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. & I pray that you, being rooted & established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide & long & high & deep is the love of Christ, & to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Psalm 138:7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against my foes, with your right hand you save me. Almost a year ago I made a choice! I had been resisting satans lures into temptation for some time & begging God to help, to change my thoughts, forgive me for my thoughts, keep me from feeling the things I was feeling. God didn't help me! He let me down! Just like my husband! So, after fighting satan for so long, I finally grew tired & rebelled. I told God, "Fine, just let me have it! I give! You want help me then just let me go!" I turned my back on God & walked away. I turned my back on my husband, I was ready to walk away. I rebelled & even tested God at times. I look back now on my arrogance toward God & I shudder! That's pretty scary! I see things differently now that I am on the other side of disobedience & I truly believe that satan asked to dance with me & God granted it to him with one condition, he could not have my life in physical death even though I may try. Let me tell you that the pain, sadness, disappointment & hurt that I went through because of MY choices nearly killed me. I felt so unlovable, so wrong, so ugly, not worth anything. I had lost way to much weight. I wasting away mentally & physically. I decided, again a choice, to take my life because it just wasn't worth the fight, I wasn't worth the fight. The pain was way too much! God had another plan for me though! He never allowed me to be tested more than I could bear without also giving me a way out! I thought the way out was death! I bypassed all the life floats he sent me, they would just keep me in this pain, this shame, this guilt! I hated myself, my life! More than once I tried to take my life and every time Jesus unwrapped the grasp of the ugly fingers of death from around my throat. I could just barely see the light but I thought I was to weak to go toward it. I just knew there was no way out, why would God still love me? He always whispered to me, "Stephanie, you are mine, I created you, & nothing you could ever do will change that. I forgive you! Remember, My grace is sufficient for you. When you are weak then I am strong! Let me hold you, let me pull you up just enough that you can see my face." Jeremiah 31:3-6 "I've never quit loving you & never will. Expect love, love, & more love! I will start over with you & build you up again. You will sing & dance again!" "Trust in me." Oh, I longed for that but satan kept a tight hold on me! I resisted God's love, I resisted changing because it was too hard, it hurt too much! I remember one of my last times I planned to commit suicide I sent my family to church because I planned on being dead by the time they got home & I audibly heard God say as I reached for the pills, "No! I have plans for you! Hold on a little longer." I put the pills down & said, "ok." His voice was gentle & yet firm! My struggle back to my marriage that I did not want to be a part of at the time, back to my kids that I never meant to hurt, back to the God that I truly love, has been a choice too, but this time it was a choice of obedience & a fearful respect for God & a glimpse of hope that he might actually give me the desires of my heart! Good things that would honor Him, it's truly all I've ever wanted. There were times that the pain inside of me from the war that was going on for my soul between good & evil was like being possessed. If you've ever watched an exorcism they show the body being distorted in all kinds of crazy ways, that's how I felt on the inside! Like I was being pulled apart. Outwardly I was depressed, angry, sad, confused, withdrawn. That is what sin can do to a soul that belongs to Jesus! Satan wants me so bad, but thank God that he sent Jesus to die for me & leave me the Holy Spirit to help fight this battle. Let me read to you Psalm 13 because it will tell you exactly how I felt so many times & uses the same words I did. "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?" See, I begged to be out of my pain. "How long will you hide your face from me?" Sometimes I felt like he had turned away, that he wasn't listening. "How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?" Satan kept my mind tormented with images & memories, lies. " How long will my enemy triumph over me?" God had many lessons for me to learn, more character to build into me! "Look on me & answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death." I was on the edge of a darkness, that could last forever. It was my heart crying out, "God, if you love me! Please, answer me! Give me relief!" My enemy will say, "I have overcome her," & my foes will rejoice when I fall. I so did not really want that to happen but I felt so helpless. I was right on the cliff-edge, ready to fall, when God grabbed & held me. Now I can say, "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me!" My journey this last year has truly been a love story! A romance! A fairy tale that does come true! I have learned that nothing can ever separate me from the love of God! The Bible says so in Romans 8:37-39 In all things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God this is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Yall, Jesus loves you, you are His! He knows you inside & out, every hair on your head, every sigh, every heartbreak, every tear, every smile. I have taken to heart Zephaniah 3:17, it's my favorite verse. The Lord is with me. My God is a mighty warrior, he will save me [he has saved me], He takes great delight in me, He quiets me with his love, He rejoices over me with singing! Isn't that romantic? In Exodus 14:14 He says He will fight for me, I just need to be still! While I was literally in the fight of my life he promised to protect me! If I would dwell in the shelter of the Most High I would rest in the shadow of the Almighty. He covered me with his feathers, & under His wings I found refuge; His faithfulness, [not mine], was my shield-Psalm 91:4 Yall, being obedient is so hard sometimes especially when the sinful flesh and confusing emotions want one thing & the spiritual soul wants it's God. He loves me so much, He is close to the broken hearted, [he is close to me] & saves those who are crushed in spirit. I just beam inside & out, I flush, I'm in love! When I read Deuteronomy 7:6 my heart goes pitter patter because The Lord says, "I have chosen you, Stephanie, out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be mine, my treasured possession." I mean, I just feel special knowing that. You might even see me twirling my hair & blushing!
Psalm 18 is the foundation of My letter to God as well as other scripture & my own words combined
Love Letter To God
~I love you, God~ you make me strong. Lord you are my rock, my fortress & my deliverer; My God you are my rock, in whom I take refuge. You are my shield & the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to you Lord, who is worthy of praise, & I am saved from my enemies. The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to you Lord; I cried to my God for help. From your temple you heard my voice; my cry came before you, into your ears. Thank you for hearing me! You have gathered my tears in a bottle & held them close to your heart! You fought for me! You left the 99 to find me! You sent your one & only Son, Jesus to die for my sins. You have covered my sins with His blood. I am forgiven, I am pure, white as snow..The earth trembled & quaked, & the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because you were angry. Smoke rose from your nostrils; consuming fire came from your mouth, burning coals blazed out of it. You parted the heavens; dark clouds were under your feet. You made darkness your covering, your canopy around you-the dark rain clouds of the sky. Out of the brightness of your presence clouds advanced, with hailstones & bolts of lightning. You Lord thundered from heaven; your voice, voice of the Most High resounded. It is Finished! You shot arrows & scattered my enemy, satan. You reached down in my distress; you drew me out of the deep waters of hell, the oceans of hate, that enemy chaos, the void in which I was drowning. You, O Lord Jesus, understood my pain, my depression, because you yourself cried out "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death." You brought me out into a spacious place, a field of wildflowers; you rescued me because you delight in me. I stand here saved-surprised to be loved! God, you made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before you. When I got my act together, you gave me a fresh start. You O Lord keep my lamp burning; my God you turn my darkness into light. You give me strength & confidence, you sustain me, you have set me as a precious jewel in your palm. The Lord lives! Praise be to my Rock! Exalted be God my Savior. God's chosen is beloved.
Psalm 138:8 The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever-do not abandon the works of your hands.
I don't know that I have done justice to all the love, adoration & gratefulness I feel towards God for always loving me, for always showing up but I hope that I at least shed some light on it. Yes, I messed up & tainted my character but God has put me in this place today to restore it! He has given me the desire of my heart & it has given me great pleasure! How great is our God!
Ladies take this last thought with you, Mom's-when I asked young girls what the most important thing was that their mothers could give them what I heard was I wish she would share her life with me. Her mistakes, hurts, problems & finally the solutions. This let's me know she is real & understands & makes me feel like I'm not so bad when I mess up and if when I tell her my mistakes she would love me anyway & not judge me but hold me & tell me it's gonna be ok. Daughters-Don't forget to listen to your moms. Ask about her life, her disappointments. Let her talk to you about who she used to be, how she got to where she is now, what she missed out on & lastly when she cries, cry with her & hold her! Give her the respect she deserves for the sacrifices she's made! My children know about my mistakes & it has been through my recent choice that they have seen me fight for my life & what is right & have seen the increase of my faith! May God bless each of you with more love & grace than you can comprehend!
In love with my Great God!
Stephanie Goode
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Running from captivity~ tripping on Jesus along the way!
So, today was a very emotional day! This morning I threw my big, ceramic hair brush at the wall-dented the wall, then I threw my smaller brush at the wall-bounced off, and as if that wasn't enough I slammed my hair dryer on the floor! Broke the hair dryer! Ba-bliss, not a cheap dryer I might add! Now why on earth would I do such a thing? I was angry! Now I'm not known for throwing things, ok well maybe sometimes. Slamming doors? For sure! Obviously I have some anger issues to work on. I'm not loving that idea because anger is my go to when I am hurting. Not a healthy choice, but a choice none the less. I'm sure my husband was keeping both eyes open so he could duck & run if something came flying his way & all the noise caused my oldest son to come running wandering what was wrong! Jeez! & all this before work at 9:30 am, which I was running late for by the way!
I finally make it to work & I'm still madder than an ole hornet but I work really hard to put on that smile that says "I don't have a problem except for my problem, which I'm not gonna tell you about so don't ask. Just let me pretend! OK?" How are you? "Oh I'm fine, doing good, doing good! Just little rushed! How bout you?"
I work in the public so it's very important that I put on my happy face & my nice voice! That is absolutely the last thing I wanted to do today! I needed to be sweet & train a new worker this morning & all I could think of was "how am I gonna fake this when I am feeling so low?" Can I just tell you that really during all this I felt so alone, empty, & sad! This is not a hole that any human can feel. I knew I needed some Jesus time or I was not gonna make it! I wanted Jesus! Before I got my time though I found out that the other day someone felt that I was judging them! Wow! Blew my mind! I have no room for judging anyone much less someone I don't even know! I was just having a bad day & I guess I didn't do such a great job with that smile I put on. Ok, so that made me more angry! At myself mostly!
Finally, some Jesus time! Not much but enough to get me through the rest of the day. After getting home I fell asleep trying to get caught up on some reading & was now running late for the 1st of two ballgames tonight. I broke down! I so needed to hear from God! I began to pray & plead with God to help me! I even said to Him, "I know you love me, but it sure doesn't feel like it right now!" Really I didn't want to go to the games, my heart wanted to be home alone with God! Catching up! Of course that made me feel guilty so I just had to ask God if it was ok & you no what he told me? He said, "listen to your heart." I said, " are you sure God cuz my hearts telling me to stay home?" Again he softly whispered, "listen to your heart." So, I did & I cried out to Him even more! Ladies, a word to you, it is ok to miss sometimes! Especially when our busy lives take away from time with our Heavenly Father! You are better for your family when you miss out on a game or two & take care of you! Physically, mentally & spiritually!
I wasn't sure what to do next so I asked Him, "What do I do? What should I read?" He said, "The book." "What book? The Bible?" " No," I heard Him say, "The book" The book was "The Confident Heart". I was behind in my study of this book & God knew just what I needed & it was found in that book. Couldn't have been more perfect! I began to read about God's love & what He wants to do for me! He wants to take all my hurts, anger, disappointment, distrust, fear & replace it with hope for a future that he has planned ahead of time for me! A future of dreams fulfilled. To prosper me, not harm or hurt me! Not a future that disappoints me! There is not much I'm sure about in my life, but the one thing I am sure of is God's love for me! His love never fails! It is perfect!
In Isaiah 61:1-4 He spoke to my heart, he announced freedom to me, a captive of anger & unforgiveness. "The spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives & release from darkness for the prisoners." I believe this is for me! Read on to vs.2-To proclaim the year of the Lord's favor & the day of vengeance of our God(I like this!), to comfort all who mourn(that would be me), & provide for those who grieve in Zion-(it gets good here), listen. Vs 3 cont. to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning(oh how I long for this) & a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair(yay!). He also says that I, Stephanie, will be called an oak of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. How fabulous is that! God also says in vs 4 that He will rebuild {my} ancient ruins, restore the places long devastated...There is HOPE! I love what Isaiah 51:3 says, The Lord will surely comfort Zion {me} & will look with compassion on all {my} ruins; He will make {my} deserts like Eden, {my} wastelands like the garden of the Lord. Joy & gladness will be found in {me}, thanksgiving & the sound of singing. Isn't that beautiful & promising? Jeremiah 29:12-14 God promises that when I call upon Him and come & pray to Him, He will listen to me. I will seek Him & find Him when I seek Him with all my heart. 14 "I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity." I am still struggling & resisting some things but am looking forward to the day when I am able to fully surrender.
On my way home from the gym tonight the song "It Is Well" came on & I asked myself, "Is it well?" Sadly, my heart answered, "No." I am a work in progress with much to look forward to & I know that my troubles are temporary so that I may be able to comfort others with the same comfort that God has shown to me, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. My hope is in Christ!
My prayer for you & me~Ephesians 1:18-19 I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. that power is like the working of his mighty strength...
Running from captivity, tripping along the way!
Stephanie Goode
I finally make it to work & I'm still madder than an ole hornet but I work really hard to put on that smile that says "I don't have a problem except for my problem, which I'm not gonna tell you about so don't ask. Just let me pretend! OK?" How are you? "Oh I'm fine, doing good, doing good! Just little rushed! How bout you?"
I work in the public so it's very important that I put on my happy face & my nice voice! That is absolutely the last thing I wanted to do today! I needed to be sweet & train a new worker this morning & all I could think of was "how am I gonna fake this when I am feeling so low?" Can I just tell you that really during all this I felt so alone, empty, & sad! This is not a hole that any human can feel. I knew I needed some Jesus time or I was not gonna make it! I wanted Jesus! Before I got my time though I found out that the other day someone felt that I was judging them! Wow! Blew my mind! I have no room for judging anyone much less someone I don't even know! I was just having a bad day & I guess I didn't do such a great job with that smile I put on. Ok, so that made me more angry! At myself mostly!
Finally, some Jesus time! Not much but enough to get me through the rest of the day. After getting home I fell asleep trying to get caught up on some reading & was now running late for the 1st of two ballgames tonight. I broke down! I so needed to hear from God! I began to pray & plead with God to help me! I even said to Him, "I know you love me, but it sure doesn't feel like it right now!" Really I didn't want to go to the games, my heart wanted to be home alone with God! Catching up! Of course that made me feel guilty so I just had to ask God if it was ok & you no what he told me? He said, "listen to your heart." I said, " are you sure God cuz my hearts telling me to stay home?" Again he softly whispered, "listen to your heart." So, I did & I cried out to Him even more! Ladies, a word to you, it is ok to miss sometimes! Especially when our busy lives take away from time with our Heavenly Father! You are better for your family when you miss out on a game or two & take care of you! Physically, mentally & spiritually!
I wasn't sure what to do next so I asked Him, "What do I do? What should I read?" He said, "The book." "What book? The Bible?" " No," I heard Him say, "The book" The book was "The Confident Heart". I was behind in my study of this book & God knew just what I needed & it was found in that book. Couldn't have been more perfect! I began to read about God's love & what He wants to do for me! He wants to take all my hurts, anger, disappointment, distrust, fear & replace it with hope for a future that he has planned ahead of time for me! A future of dreams fulfilled. To prosper me, not harm or hurt me! Not a future that disappoints me! There is not much I'm sure about in my life, but the one thing I am sure of is God's love for me! His love never fails! It is perfect!
In Isaiah 61:1-4 He spoke to my heart, he announced freedom to me, a captive of anger & unforgiveness. "The spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives & release from darkness for the prisoners." I believe this is for me! Read on to vs.2-To proclaim the year of the Lord's favor & the day of vengeance of our God(I like this!), to comfort all who mourn(that would be me), & provide for those who grieve in Zion-(it gets good here), listen. Vs 3 cont. to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning(oh how I long for this) & a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair(yay!). He also says that I, Stephanie, will be called an oak of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. How fabulous is that! God also says in vs 4 that He will rebuild {my} ancient ruins, restore the places long devastated...There is HOPE! I love what Isaiah 51:3 says, The Lord will surely comfort Zion {me} & will look with compassion on all {my} ruins; He will make {my} deserts like Eden, {my} wastelands like the garden of the Lord. Joy & gladness will be found in {me}, thanksgiving & the sound of singing. Isn't that beautiful & promising? Jeremiah 29:12-14 God promises that when I call upon Him and come & pray to Him, He will listen to me. I will seek Him & find Him when I seek Him with all my heart. 14 "I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity." I am still struggling & resisting some things but am looking forward to the day when I am able to fully surrender.
On my way home from the gym tonight the song "It Is Well" came on & I asked myself, "Is it well?" Sadly, my heart answered, "No." I am a work in progress with much to look forward to & I know that my troubles are temporary so that I may be able to comfort others with the same comfort that God has shown to me, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. My hope is in Christ!
My prayer for you & me~Ephesians 1:18-19 I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. that power is like the working of his mighty strength...
Running from captivity, tripping along the way!
Stephanie Goode
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
I am the Booty! Aaargh!
"Ahoy me buckos"(friends)!! Me name is Stephanie & I...am the booty! Why "sink me"(expression of surprise) you say! Why in the world would I be speaking in such a way? Aye, to let you know what a treasure you be "matey"! Do you doubt it "me bucko"? Deuteronomy 7:6 The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession. You, "me bucko"...are the booty!
What say we "splice the mainbrace"(to have a drink)! Drink from the living word where he says that when we drink from His well we will never thirst again. John 4:14...the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. Bottoms up! Drink in the wine of his love. Let's fill our well, our hearts & minds with the truth about how special we are to God! So special that he gave his one & only Son, Jesus, to die for our sins. John 3:16. He took the pain, guilt, shame, sorrow & filth of our sins! He felt them all that day on the cross, but praise God, Jesus has risen to be with His Father so that one day we may join Him in heaven! Have you ever found your heart, your confidence or your self esteem, in "Davy Jones' locker"(the bottom of the sea)? Listen to what Jesus wants you to know in Isaiah 43:1-4(summarized) I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; & when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned...For I am the Lord, your God...you are precious & honored in my sight, & I LOVE YOU! He sees you & will not let you fall! Proverbs 3:26-For the Lord will be your confidence & will keep your foot from being caught. When satan is whispering lies into your ear telling how unlovable, ugly, fat, sinful, not good enough, you'll never amount to anything,you're not worth it, shout to him "Gangway"(get out of my way) in the name of Jesus! Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is His faithfulness. The Lord is my portion says my soul; therefore, I will hope in Him. Lamentations 3:21-24. Let me say it again "bucko", YOU, ARE, THE, BOOTY! For you are God's masterpiece. He has created you anew in Christ Jesus, so you can do the good things he planned for you long ago Ephesians 2:10 God chose you before the beginning of time. He knows you inside & out. He knew you before you were formed in your mother's womb! YOU are a treasure! YOU are significant! YOU are good enough! He chose YOU! YOU are His masterpiece! Aye Matey, don't you know that he has set you a little higher than the angels? You are worth more than many sparrows? Matthew 10:29-31Are not two sparrow sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Do you struggle with doubt about God's love for you? Struggle with what your worth? DON'T!!! Let me leave you "me buckos" with this thought of encouragement-Isaiah 62:3 You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. YOU are ROYALTY! YOU come from a line of Kings! YOU are God's princess! I've felt led to share this with you because I struggle often with satans lies, but God has been so gracious in showing me everyday how treasured I am! I truly am believing it! A couple of weeks ago? Not so much! Today? Yes, he proves his love to me daily. He provides for me. He heals my hurts & binds up my broken heart. He shows me how special I am, like diamonds & rubies! He has a plan for me. A plan to prosper me, not harm. Plans for a great future! Jeremiah 29:11. He plans to give me the desires of my heart. He knows me! So "Gangway" satan! I belong to Jesus!
Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.
Yo-ho-ho!(expression that may mean something or not)
I AM THE BOOTY!
Stephanie Goode
Friday, April 20, 2012
WHAT IF???
Let's play a game! It's the "What If" game! You know this game don't you? Haven't we all played it at least a million times? This game can be very tiring & mind boggling. Wanna play? Ready! Set! GOOOO!
What if...I told you that my marriage was a mess? That we are struggling to keep it together? What if I shared with you that my marriage got started as an affair? What if I told you that I've had an affair since then? Ew, that's a touchy subject! What if I told you that I've considered divorce? Would you judge? What if I said that my family sometimes fights and hollers & criticizes each other? How about if I admitted that at times I've wished that I wasn't a christian? Look out! Lightening! What if you found out that I've even plotted killing in my mind before? What if I confessed that I struggle with lust? What if I opened up to you and said that I got pregnant at 18, had my baby, then had an abortion 6 months later? Now hold on! Don't throw that stone just yet, I'm not finished! I bet your bucket may be getting heavy by now. What would you say if you knew that I learned about the damage from sexual abuse as a young child? Hot topic! What if I explained to you the pain of not being believed? What if I told you that as a child I was exposed to alcoholism and spousal abuse? What if you knew that I depended on alcohol & pills when I couldn't handle the weight of my mistakes & the pain that resulted? How would it settle with you if I told you that I've attempted suicide more than once? That I've lived with the demon of depression? That I think I'm not pretty, or that I'm fat? What if I told you that I feel like a failure much of the time as a person, mother, daughter, & wife? What if you knew that I frequently hate myself & have considered cutting as a way of release? How would you feel if you knew that I've been crippled by so much fear that I even feared eating or taking medications or supplements or leaving my house or driving or going into
Wal Mart? What if you found out that I even feared going to sleep? What do you think of me so far? Could this be your story? What if it's your Mom's story, or your Grandmother or Aunt, or even your sister? It could be your Dad's story, your brother or uncle, or you Grandfather, or worse still...your child's story!
What if I told you that amidst all my troubles, failures, fears, disappointments, pain, struggles, mistakes & abuse I still found God? That I still received forgiveness through the blood of Jesus Christ?! Well, I did & continue to each day! God has loved me since before I was even conceived & he never let me out of his sight. Can you believe that? See, God has been preparing me to do the work he predestined (pre-planned) for me to do so long, long ago. Ephesians 1:11-12 It's in Christ that we find out who we are & what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ & got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he's working out in everything & everyone. MSG and also, Psalm 139:16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. NIV
Are you now, or have you ever gone through some tough times in your life? What if I told you it's because God has a plan for your life that you may not be able to see now or understand? Jeremiah 29:11 I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out-plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. MSG I Peter 5:10 encourages us: And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you & make you strong, firm & steadfast. NIV
What if I told you he loves you more than his own life, enough to send His own Son to die for our sins? Would you believe it? Would you be ready to accept his call on your life, to submit & honor Him? Psalm 100:3 Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, & we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. I pray that you will answer his call even when life seems to be the worst anyone could ever imagine going through because it is people like you, who are real, that God wants to plant in a field of wildflowers so that your compassion & understanding can help even a lowly weed, with no purpose, to grow. Although a wildflower is not a weed, they do serve a purpose. Some can be eaten, others used for medicinal purposes & some are just lovely to behold. This is what the Bible says about a flower in Isaiah 40:6-8 "All men are like grass, & all their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers & the flowers fall, because the breath of the Lord blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers & the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever."
It's ok to be beautiful outwardly but a soft, peaceful inner beauty that is attained from faith during hard knocks & struggles is more pleasing to God! I Peter 3:3-4 for women-Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair & the wearing of gold jewelry & fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle & quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. Also, Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, & beauty(like the flower) is fleeting(soon fades); but a woman who fears God is to be praised. For men-a handsome or desirable man is one that can apply I Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, & treat them with respect as the weaker(without as many advantages) partner & as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. Also, I think Psalm 1:1-3 puts it handsomely-Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, & on his law he meditates day & night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season & whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers!NIV Who wouldn't want a man like that, right?! Although this is not a lesson on husbands & wives I felt it important to make this distinction of what is pleasing to God in both man & woman.
Did you know that the Dandelion that we kill off each year is full of nutrition? The Dandelion is not just a lowly weed nor is it known for its beauty & vibrant colors. It's fluffy,feathered petals have brought joy to many a child. Seeing the force of their breath spread the fuzzy wonder throughout the field brings them pleasure. Some of it may land right where it is & spread its seed there, while others float away to a new piece of land standing out amongst the wildflowers, & still others may tickle our noses, or plant themselves in our eyelashes or in our hair! Can you just see the image of God breathing life(the Holy Spirit) into our hearts when we believe in Him & the joy & pleasure he feels as he watches us grow where He has planted us!?
That's not all a Dandelion is good for! The leaves & stems are great for salads or can be dried for herbal use too! See, the Dandelion, in case you haven't noticed, is hard to kill! They will not give up and neither should we! Phillipians 3:12-14 says it best! "I have not yet reached my goal, & I am not perfect. but Christ has taken hold of me. so I keep on running & struggling to take hold of the prize. My friends, I don't feel that I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, & I struggle for what is ahead. I run toward the goal, so that I can win the prize of being called to heaven. This is the prize that God offers because of what Christ Jesus has done." Remember this childhood song? He's still working on me, to make me what I outta be. It took him just a week to make the moon & the stars, the sun & the earth & Jupiter & Mars. How loving & patient he must be! Cuz He's still working on me! He's still working on you! Don't give up yet!
Could you be a Dandelion? Could I? What if we were real? What if we shared our hardships with each other so that someone else might be saved? What if...
Remember, just because the flower is bright & pretty & smells good on the outside doesn't mean it's all that on the inside nor does it mean that it isn't & never discount a weed! I Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
Psalm 17:8 Keep me the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings...
With much love from a Dandelion!
Stephanie Goode
What if...I told you that my marriage was a mess? That we are struggling to keep it together? What if I shared with you that my marriage got started as an affair? What if I told you that I've had an affair since then? Ew, that's a touchy subject! What if I told you that I've considered divorce? Would you judge? What if I said that my family sometimes fights and hollers & criticizes each other? How about if I admitted that at times I've wished that I wasn't a christian? Look out! Lightening! What if you found out that I've even plotted killing in my mind before? What if I confessed that I struggle with lust? What if I opened up to you and said that I got pregnant at 18, had my baby, then had an abortion 6 months later? Now hold on! Don't throw that stone just yet, I'm not finished! I bet your bucket may be getting heavy by now. What would you say if you knew that I learned about the damage from sexual abuse as a young child? Hot topic! What if I explained to you the pain of not being believed? What if I told you that as a child I was exposed to alcoholism and spousal abuse? What if you knew that I depended on alcohol & pills when I couldn't handle the weight of my mistakes & the pain that resulted? How would it settle with you if I told you that I've attempted suicide more than once? That I've lived with the demon of depression? That I think I'm not pretty, or that I'm fat? What if I told you that I feel like a failure much of the time as a person, mother, daughter, & wife? What if you knew that I frequently hate myself & have considered cutting as a way of release? How would you feel if you knew that I've been crippled by so much fear that I even feared eating or taking medications or supplements or leaving my house or driving or going into
Wal Mart? What if you found out that I even feared going to sleep? What do you think of me so far? Could this be your story? What if it's your Mom's story, or your Grandmother or Aunt, or even your sister? It could be your Dad's story, your brother or uncle, or you Grandfather, or worse still...your child's story!
What if I told you that amidst all my troubles, failures, fears, disappointments, pain, struggles, mistakes & abuse I still found God? That I still received forgiveness through the blood of Jesus Christ?! Well, I did & continue to each day! God has loved me since before I was even conceived & he never let me out of his sight. Can you believe that? See, God has been preparing me to do the work he predestined (pre-planned) for me to do so long, long ago. Ephesians 1:11-12 It's in Christ that we find out who we are & what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ & got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he's working out in everything & everyone. MSG and also, Psalm 139:16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. NIV
Are you now, or have you ever gone through some tough times in your life? What if I told you it's because God has a plan for your life that you may not be able to see now or understand? Jeremiah 29:11 I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out-plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. MSG I Peter 5:10 encourages us: And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you & make you strong, firm & steadfast. NIV
What if I told you he loves you more than his own life, enough to send His own Son to die for our sins? Would you believe it? Would you be ready to accept his call on your life, to submit & honor Him? Psalm 100:3 Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, & we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. I pray that you will answer his call even when life seems to be the worst anyone could ever imagine going through because it is people like you, who are real, that God wants to plant in a field of wildflowers so that your compassion & understanding can help even a lowly weed, with no purpose, to grow. Although a wildflower is not a weed, they do serve a purpose. Some can be eaten, others used for medicinal purposes & some are just lovely to behold. This is what the Bible says about a flower in Isaiah 40:6-8 "All men are like grass, & all their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers & the flowers fall, because the breath of the Lord blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers & the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever."
It's ok to be beautiful outwardly but a soft, peaceful inner beauty that is attained from faith during hard knocks & struggles is more pleasing to God! I Peter 3:3-4 for women-Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair & the wearing of gold jewelry & fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle & quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. Also, Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, & beauty(like the flower) is fleeting(soon fades); but a woman who fears God is to be praised. For men-a handsome or desirable man is one that can apply I Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, & treat them with respect as the weaker(without as many advantages) partner & as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. Also, I think Psalm 1:1-3 puts it handsomely-Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, & on his law he meditates day & night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season & whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers!NIV Who wouldn't want a man like that, right?! Although this is not a lesson on husbands & wives I felt it important to make this distinction of what is pleasing to God in both man & woman.
Did you know that the Dandelion that we kill off each year is full of nutrition? The Dandelion is not just a lowly weed nor is it known for its beauty & vibrant colors. It's fluffy,feathered petals have brought joy to many a child. Seeing the force of their breath spread the fuzzy wonder throughout the field brings them pleasure. Some of it may land right where it is & spread its seed there, while others float away to a new piece of land standing out amongst the wildflowers, & still others may tickle our noses, or plant themselves in our eyelashes or in our hair! Can you just see the image of God breathing life(the Holy Spirit) into our hearts when we believe in Him & the joy & pleasure he feels as he watches us grow where He has planted us!?
That's not all a Dandelion is good for! The leaves & stems are great for salads or can be dried for herbal use too! See, the Dandelion, in case you haven't noticed, is hard to kill! They will not give up and neither should we! Phillipians 3:12-14 says it best! "I have not yet reached my goal, & I am not perfect. but Christ has taken hold of me. so I keep on running & struggling to take hold of the prize. My friends, I don't feel that I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, & I struggle for what is ahead. I run toward the goal, so that I can win the prize of being called to heaven. This is the prize that God offers because of what Christ Jesus has done." Remember this childhood song? He's still working on me, to make me what I outta be. It took him just a week to make the moon & the stars, the sun & the earth & Jupiter & Mars. How loving & patient he must be! Cuz He's still working on me! He's still working on you! Don't give up yet!
Could you be a Dandelion? Could I? What if we were real? What if we shared our hardships with each other so that someone else might be saved? What if...
Remember, just because the flower is bright & pretty & smells good on the outside doesn't mean it's all that on the inside nor does it mean that it isn't & never discount a weed! I Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
Psalm 17:8 Keep me the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings...
With much love from a Dandelion!
Stephanie Goode
Monday, April 2, 2012
I had a dream!
Well, yesterday I finished putting away my things from my trip to Georgia, which was 3 weeks ago! Procrastinate? Never! I just don't like to pack or put my stuff up when I get back! Ha ha! I have been wanting to share with you a dream I had while in Georgia but for one reason or another I haven't gotten it done, but I'm glad I waited because there is post dream information that may amaze you. Well, it amazed me anyway! I shared my dream first with a friend who was indirectly involved. Granted, I shared it later than I had planned to but I'm glad I procrastinated because God's timing is so much better than mine. Do you agree? This friend, Merion, happens to be the Mother of the girl in my dream & one day last week I got on facebook & noticed that she had decided to totally abandoned her facebook because she was going through a hard time and just needed to set some boundaries. I understand that for sure! It wasn't until the next day that I felt pressed to share my dream with her because I could see that satan was trying to steal her joy & snuff out her light. Now, the post dream info had already been revealed to me at this point so I was able to give her the whole story. I was able to start the message with encouragement by letting her know how valued she is & how much she blesses others including me & how I can appreciate her struggles as I too am going through some struggles that also make me want to burrow for awhile till it goes away. Thankfully God is so patient with me & allows me time to figure things out & get over myself & whatever it is that holds me back from moving forward into the many blessings he has in store for me.
Ok, so here' s the dream. I dreamed I was going to prison & I remember thinking that it was so stupid that I was going to prison because what I did really wasn't a punishable offense. I packed all my stuff (believe me i pack for every possible situation); the guard then went through my stuff & set out just what I would need then I started going back through what was left & asking "well, what about this?" The guard replied, "yeah, you can take it but you won't need it." Me "ok, well then I'm gonna take all this cuz it's mine & it makes me feel safe & comfortable." Wesley, my husband, was with me & we were escorted to another place to wait on roll call. This is when his brother Steven showed up just to be with us. Thanks Steven! I know you would be there. I felt a little self conscious because if people saw me then they'd know what I did. I then began to realize that all the people there were people that I knew & that they had obviously done something too! That's when an angel by the name of Meredith showed up or should I say floated over. I do know Meredith in real life & she is much younger than me, could be my daughter. She said to me, "I feel like the Lord wants me to share this with you, but I wasn't sure if He wanted me to tell you to read the whole chapter or just the verse. I'm sure now that it's the verse. 2 Chronicles 30:7 is what God has told me to share with you." At this point I'm scrunching up my face like, HUH? "I don't know, I just really believe that God wants you to know this" she says. So I got my Bible out & started questioning, "did she really mean 2 Corinthians 30:7 or maybe 1 Corinthians or 1 Chronicles?" Meredith had already flitted away, her work was done, but she heard me & reappeared off to the side & said "No! 2 Chronicles 30:7!" Now you can imagine how crazy this must have sounded to me. Why would God want me to read something in 2 Chronicles? That's old testament & so random. If you've read any of my previous blogs you will know that I have said before how God uses some very odd things to get my attention. He probably has to in order to get through to me. Besides I kinda have a hankering for all that's odd! Anyway, when I awoke from my dream it was still so vivid in my mind so I got my Bible out & started searching all those places in the Bible cuz I still thought this had to be all mixed up. Do you know that out of all those books 2 Chronicles is the only one with a chapter 30 & verse 7? Yup! Crazy? Coincidence? I think not! When I read it I was already pretty sure what God was trying to say to me. It's such a weird passage, but I believe he is telling me not to be like my ancestors who were unfaithful & invoke his anger but instead to submit completely to him. Let's take a look at 2 Chronicles 30:7 Do not be like your fathers & brothers, who were unfaithful to the Lord, the God of their fathers, so that he made them an object of horror, as you see. Vs 8 says Do not be stiff-necked, as your fathers were; submit to the Lord. I laughed at this cuz my neck truly was stiff that morning. It goes on to say serve the Lord so that his fierce anger will turn away from you. If you return your brothers & children will be shown compassion from their captors...For the Lord your God is gracious & compassionate. He will not turn his face from you if you return to him. Ok! How clear is that? I don't think I've ever really read in Chronicles but I was wowed. I had to ask God to go ahead & clarify that for me as if I didn't understand. I just really didn't want to hear that. So, looking back into the dream I can see that submission in all things, even the hard ones, & the one's that scare me to submit to him is what he wants. Think about it, He, the guard, has set out for me all that I need & I am still wanting to hold on to those things that are holding me prisoner because even though they are no good for me they are comfortable & safe. He still allows me to take those things even tho I won't need them if I just trust & depend on Him. He gives me the free will to choose but I would imagine he let's out a big sigh each time I hold onto my possessions. Those possessions are not necessarily material things. They could be anger, guilt, shame, sin, memories, pain, fear, worry, etc. He hasn't given up on me yet see that's why he sent Meredith, my angel! In my life I am holding on to things that only cause me pain & confusion & sadness, yet they are so hard to let go of! Why? I am afraid! OF WHAT? My future, happiness, being well, my dreams actually coming true, freedom, love! What? That's crazy you say? You are so right! It is! I believe in the dream that Steven was like the Holy Spirit, a comforter, a peaceful & reassuring presence. You never know when you may be entertaining angels unaware! Maybe you don't believe in dreams, that's ok, it's your choice. I believe enough for us all. God has spoken to me many times in my dreams. It is the one place he can speak to me that I am less resistant & more open minded. He knows me so well.
I feel that at this time in my life I am up against a wall, stale mate. Imagine if I would have submitted, given it all up that morning. Would I still be in this place right now, in this prison? Let me just clue you in even more about how well God knows me. He knew it would take more than a dream & a verse. One of my devos for that day, March 18 2012, was titled "Listening Carefully". Psalm 119:162-163. The devo says, "so...would you be quiet & listen with your eyes on the pages of your Bible? Listen for His still, small voice to whisper to your heart through his word." ROTFL! The other devo for the day is titled "Will I bring myself up to this level?" 2 Corinthians 7:1 ...perfecting holiness in the fear of God. In summary, Am I claiming his promises? Do I realize that He owns me, my body His temple, or am I condoning some habit that couldn't withstand God's light on it? 1 Corinthians 6:19. Do I know that God instructs even the small details of my life, for me my thoughts. When God convicts do not confer with flesh & blood but be cleansed at once Galatians 1:16. Is the mind of my spirit in perfect agreement with the life of the Son of God in me or am I mentally rebellious & defiant? Philippians 2:5. It ends with "be serious in your commitment to God & gladly leave everything else alone." I mean really, how much more clear does it need to be? Evidently for me, crystal clear! I frustrate myself! So naturally last Tuesday I was still asking God questions about what is wrong with me, what do I need to do? I read my devos but they didn't really lead me anywhere. Didn't know where to look in my Bible so I got on facebook, nothing there this time. So, finally I grabbed my Bible & guess where it turned to? You got it, 2 Chronicles 1. I read it & basically what I heard was that Solomon asked God for wisdom & knowledge, not riches etc, & God granted it & then some. 2 Chronicles 1:7-12 The truth is, wisdom, knowledge & a splash of understanding is definitely what I need. Now I must put away all doubt, fear, & pride & ask for what I need & give up all that I don't need. Wouldn't you agree? Are you like me? Does anyone else do this? I am asking for your prayers that i will humble myself to God's will & truths about my life & surrender all that entangles me. I know that he has such a greater purpose for me, more than all this self inflicted suffering. Until he has created a pure heart in me I will not be able to see his purpose or execute it when it is revealed to me.
I want to tell you how blessed I was when Merion responded the very day that I had sent her the message because I knew she had already checked out of facebook so I prayed that if it was God's will then please let her somehow get my message. He answered ASAP! It blessed me to know how blessed she felt & that she is back on facebook! I enjoy her positive & encouraging posts!
If Jesus texted or facebooked I bet his message to me would look something like this...Jesus:TBH! Sigh! SMH! It's not who you knew, it's not what you did, it's how lived! Keep living for me! I am patiently waiting for you to break free from your prison & join me in freedom completely consecrated in me! Love Jesus!
PRISONER 2012
Stephanie Goode
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