Today is, the last couple of days have been, one of those days that I think how can I post when I feel like I do? Depressed, overwhelmed, confused, unworthy, broken & the list goes on. Well I said I would share my struggles so here we go. Maybe you're having one of those days too. I pray that you aren't, but if so, let's work this out together & see what he has in store for us if we trust him enough to give us what is best. Do you? Do I? Ouch, I would have to say that most of the time I am a "doubting Thomas", a "Gideon", a "David", a "Sarah" & so on & so on. Ya know these feelings we have can & usually are self inflicted with a heaping cup of Satan. The Jerk! I have my thorn in my side as Paul wrote about in 2Corinthians 12:7-9 & I have asked God to remove it & the only thing I hear whispered in my ear is "my grace is sufficient for you." God also promises that he will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear", & here's the part we leave out, "without giving us a way out". There it is! Plain as day! 1Corinthians 10:13. He will send us a lifeboat but will we take it is the question. I believe that for me, today, right now, for this moment, my way out is writing to you. As I write my thoughts it causes me to dig into my Bible. To put my focus on Christ, where it belongs! If my nose is in the word it can't be sniffing around seeing if there's any scraps, or any bones to dig up. Let's dig up God's word right now!
Doubt-distrust, to be uncertain about, consider questionable or unlikely, hesitate to believe. Look at this way-Distrust (God), uncertain about (God), consider (God) questionable or unlikely, hesitate to believe (God). Is that how I feel or what I believe about God? "Of course not!" we say. Really? Because when we doubt his promises this is what we are telling him. I don't trust you, I'm not sure, I doubt it! Wow! I have literally said those things to him, in those very words! When I look at it in writing I want to hide! When I stop & consider the last few days, I know God has been speaking to me because he has heard my pleas, but my response to his response was "I know, I know your right, I'm trying, I'm just not good enough, I'm not that strong, I just don't understand." Whatever, I do know, quit trying & just do it, I am good enough, I am strong enough, & I do understand-enough. I haven't received a Bible vs from twitter in over a month & all of a sudden I get 3! Here's the first one, Ezekiel 18:32 "For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone who dies," declares the Lord God. "Therefore, repent & live! On this day I was thinking about my physical death & how I wish it were now, but God is talking about my spiritual death. Cuz hey, I was ready to give up on it all! Second vs. was Matthew 10:38 And he who does not take his cross & follow after Me is not worthy of Me. Again, I thought "your right, I am not worthy of you & picking up that cross & following you is just too much." Pity party! Now the third vs which came in yesterday was Samuel 22:31 As for God, His way is blameless; the Word of the Lord is tested; He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him. Now, my hormones were leveling off a bit by then & I had actually just said those words to myself, You are my refuge you are my shield. Satan loves it when I'm down, but I was on the way up so that scripture felt good to me. I can do this! Right? I walked through Walmart quoting fragmented scripture & Psalms 23. Now Psalms 23 wasn't in the right order because for the life of me I couldn't remember it so I beat on Satan with "The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want, I shall not be in want, I shall want for nothing, yea thou I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, you anoint my head with oil, u lead me beside still waters, you prepare me a table, somen bout my enemies, You'll take care of em that's all I know, I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever! Amen, amen, amen! Shew! God really doesn't care if its in order or the exact words just as long as we are calling out to him! Yes, again, I was discouraged this morning but the more I seek the better I feel. Consequently, my devos for the last couple days have been about inspiration of spiritual initiative & initiative against depression & despair. But guess what! I didn't read them until today! God has it all layed out, I've just had my nose to the ground sniffing out scraps! God wants us to take initiative that is given to us by the Holy Spirit & rise up, pick up our mats, stretch out our hand, dip in the river & do the impossible, overcome life not be overcome with life. All this in His name & through his power! The second we obey, the depression is lifted.
Mark 11:23-24 I tell you the truth, If anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. 24 Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
The message is this: Trust & obey! For there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust & obey.
The Doubter,
Stephanie Goode
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